Shakes The Clown

Synopsis: Shakes plods about his duties as party clown, and uses all of his free time getting seriously drunk. Binky, another clown, wins the spot on a local kiddie show, which depresses Shakes even more, and his boss threatens him with unemployment if he can't get his act under control. When someone murders Shakes' boss and makes it look like Shakes did it, he goes undercover, posing as a hated mime, and tries to find information that will clear his name.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Drama
Director(s): Bobcat Goldthwait
Production: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
5.6
Rotten Tomatoes:
38%
R
Year:
1991
87 min
76 Views


Mom, who's the naked clown

in our bathroom?

What?

What is it, honey?

- What the hell you doing, kid?

- I had to go to the bathroom.

On my head?

Hey, buddy, this is my bathroom,

not your bedroom, you big drunken mess.

Billy!

Come on, sweetheart. Come on.

Let's give your mother's new boyfriend

a chance to collect his thoughts.

Ooh, boy.

What a morning.

Hey, kid, I'm sorry I went and freaked

out on you like that in the bathroom.

It's okay.

Would you like to see

a magic trick?

No.

Yeah, me neither.

Here.

Why don't you go out and buy yourself

something real nice, huh?

Thanks, Elvis.

This'll go a long way in the toy store.

- That's a cute kid you got there.

- Thanks.

Is that clock right?

Yeah.

Oh, shit!

Well, what's wrong?

I was supposed to be

at a birthday party.

Can I help you?

Last night when I got here,

I had a wig.

This one?

You got others?

No. You're my first clown.

Will I ever see you again?

Maybe.

What's your name?

Shakes. Shakes the clown.

Oh, my head!

Goddamn it!

What a fiesta we are having on

the "Palukaville Morning Zoo" here...

on K.L.A.R. D.

That's K-LARD.

- I'm Larry Loud.

- And I'm Barry Obnoxious.

And we're Loud and Obnoxious.

Oh, boy, what a weekend I had.

I went to my psychiatrist

and I went in and said...

"I don't know what's wrong with me.

I'm a teepee. I'm a wigwam."

He said, "Your problem is

you're two tents. "

Well, okay. Let's go directly

to the telephones here.

You're on "The Morning Zoo."

How are you?

- I'm fine. Who is this?

- Barry Obnoxious on "The Morning Zoo."

Do you listen to K-LARD?

No, I don't listen to you.

Goddamn it!

I'm an invalid!

I had to come down 14 stairs.

Too bad you had to get out of your sick

bed, but this is "The Morning Zoo."

I think it's something important,

I don't know who it is.

Some asshole on a radio program!

Okay, we got a crazy guy on the phone.

I want to thank you.

Got yourself a free T- shirt.

Come to the station and pick it up.

I gotta empty my colostomy bag,

all right?

- Hey, buddy, I gotta use your can.

- Hold it, jerk. Not so fast.

- What?

- Bathroom is for paying customers only.

Don't I get a free mug?

Man! Fucking people.

When we built this place,

there wasn't a clown in the area.

- Good morning, tiger. How you doing?

- You're late. You the clown?

- No. I'm Mary fucking Poppins.

- Watch your mouth, mister.

- I'm talking to you.

- I don't care who you're talking to.

Let's get a couple things straight.

One:
I'm not your pal.

Two:
I need $150 cash

in advance up front.

And three:

If you ever talk to me again...

I'm gonna twist your head

into a fucking balloon animal.

- Okay?

- Okay.

Nice hair.

Thanks.

Smooth.

- Lawn bowling, it's just so wonderful.

- I can't concentrate on the game.

I gotta know if Shakes

got that TV show.

- What's the rush? We'll find out.

- If he gets it, he'll use his friends.

- Who are his best friends?

- Me and you.

So he gets us on TV,

we get plenty of babes.

Shut up. You get babes 'cause

you're cool, not 'cause you're on TV.

- What do you know about women?

- I know the deal.

You haven't had a woman

since I known you.

I've been busy juggling

and doing shit.

You get on TV, all that will change.

Everybody on TV gets lots o' pussy.

- Weathermen get a lot of pussy.

- Huh?

Weathermen get a lot of pussy.

Weathermen don't get

the kind of pussy I got.

I got that peanut butter pussy...

brown, smooth and easy to spread.

Come on, Billy.

We're all bored.

Let's get the sushi out of the sun.

Ow, ow, ow.

Mom.

Boring!

Hi, kids.

It's your friend, Shakes the clown.

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Bobcat Goldthwait

Robert Francis Goldthwait (born May 26, 1962), better known as Bobcat Goldthwait, is an American comedian, filmmaker, actor and voice artist, known for his acerbic black comedy, delivered through an energetic stage persona with an unusual gruff and high-pitched voice. He came to prominence with his stand-up specials An Evening with Bobcat Goldthwait – Share the Warmth and Bob Goldthwait – Is He Like That All the Time? and his acting roles, including Zed in the Police Academy franchise. Goldthwait has written and directed a number of films and television series, most notably the black comedies Shakes the Clown (1991), in which he also starred, Sleeping Dogs Lie (2006), World's Greatest Dad (2009), God Bless America (2011), and the horror film Willow Creek (2013); episodes of Chappelle's Show (2003), Jimmy Kimmel Live! (2004–07), and Maron (2013–15); and several stand-up specials, including Patton Oswalt: Tragedy Plus Comedy Equals Time (2014). He has also worked extensively as a voice actor, with voice roles in Capitol Critters (1992–95), Hercules (1997), and Hercules: The Animated Series (1998–99). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Shakes The Clown" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 5 Jun 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/shakes_the_clown_17905>.

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