Serial Mom Page #4

Scotty who doesn't wear

his seat belts.

Good morning, detectives.

"Nightmare On Calverton Court. "

"The Maryland Teacher Massacre. "

It's not funny, son.

Did you drive your car...

to the PTA meeting yesterday,

Mrs. Sutphin?

Yes, I did.

Detectives, what is this

all about?

I know this sounds weird,

Mr. Sutphin, but...

the Department of Motor Vehicles'

computer...

shows only one

blue station wagon...

registered to a parent

of any of Mr. Stubbins' pupils.

Surely you don't think

Beverly was involved in this!

She did it!

Aimed the car right at him

and mowed him down!

Shut up, Scotty.

As I understand it,

the only eyewitness...

was a drug user.

I got somebody

you can run over, Mother.

That's a terrible thing to say!

Detectives, it's time for you

to leave.

My wife knows nothing

about this terrible accident.

Murder, honey.

Now here's a babe!

Let's see that, young man.

"P" as in-

"People who don't mind

their own business. "

Darling, it's Rosemary Ackerman's.

You can tell

by the subscription label.

I don't like to read about movies.

They're so violent.

Besides, I always recycle

my magazines.

Wait for me, boys!

Here. All rinsed

and ready to recycle.

- Good mornin', Mrs. Sutphin.

- Good morning, Gus, Sloppy.

You boys work so hard

for the environment...

I brought you something.

A little drink

never hurt anybody.

Damn, that's good stuff!

Can you believe

that goddamn litter bugger?

I have told her and told her...

it takes 90 to 100 years...

for a tin can to decompose...

and she still won't recycle!

Cost the taxpayers

millions of dollars last year...

but she don't care nothin'

about the national budget.

I hate Mrs. Ackerman.

- I hate her too!

- I hate her guts.

You know, somebody

ought to kill her.

Give her a...

happy face...

and then recycle her.

For the sake of this planet...

somebody just might.

But your boyfriend was convicted...

of killing twelve people.

I don't judge him.

I don't get it.

How can you love a mass murderer?

Easy. He's handsome,

he's famous...

and we get conjugal visits.

Serial hags.

Women who love men

who mutilate.

- We'll be right back-

- Turn it off.

Violence is everywhere

these days.

It's just Beverly!

Come in.

She scared me!

Would you like a beer?

No, not me.

Just a little coffee?

Dottie, I'm so sorry.

- I heard about your troubles.

- It's not fair!

Are those p*ssy willows?

Dried ones.

Aren't they pretty?

What did you just say?

P*ssy willows, Dottie.

My goodness!

- What are you doing?

- I didn't do it!

My Franklin Mint Faberge egg!

Dottie didn't mean to be so clumsy.

You're sorry, aren't you?

I did not break your egg!

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