Send Me No Flowers

Synopsis: At one of his many visits to his doctor, hypochondriac George Kimball mistakes a dying man's diagnosis for his own and believes he only has about two more weeks to live. Wanting to take care of his wife Judy, he doesn't tell her and tries to find her a new husband. When he finally does tell her, she quickly finds out he's not dying at all (while he doesn't) and she believes it's just a lame excuse to hide an affair, so she decides to leave him.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Director(s): Norman Jewison
Production: MCA Universal Home Video
  1 win & 1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
7.0
Rotten Tomatoes:
57%
APPROVED
Year:
1964
100 min
114 Views

"The desire to take medicine

is perhaps the greatest feature

which distinguishes man from animals."

Feeling low?

Tossing and turning all night?

Having trouble going beddy-bye?

Know what?|You've got a headache.

Try the new painkiller Nipsarin, the|pill 9 out of 10 doctors prescribe,

and get instant relief.

Painful sinuses got you down?

Nasal passages clogging up on you?

Don't give it another thought! Try,|new doctor-prescribed Nauseadrine,

with the new,|magic ingredient N.U. 202,

and smash your troubles away.

Tummy feel crummy? You bet it does!

And there you go,|taking those rotten tablets.

Nothing happens,|they just lay there.

Now watch wonder-working|Garbagine go to work.

See how much faster the new-formula,|better-than-ever

Garbagine tablets are|than that no-good brand.

George, breakfast!

Good morning, Arnold.

Mrs. Kimball?

Hi, Ernie. - Isn't it|a lovely morning? - Oh, it is cute.

Yoghurt, carrot juice, cottage cheese,

organic honey,|non-fat, and eggs, fertile.

The Fishers on Maple St. Got|a new car today. Only it's 2nd hand.

Don't breathe a word of this,|but you know the Bullards?

Now, remember,|don't spread this around.

George!

Hey Nash, it's Vito, the cleaner.

Hey Daddy-O, I got your cleaning.

Ruth!

Need a hand, Mrs. Kimball?

Judy?|- I heard you, you said "ooh."

Doesn't it concern you,|I have this pain in my chest?

I'm always concerned.

It's just that I've had such|a morning. You would not believe it.

I called Dr. Morrissey.|I'm going to have a complete check-up.

It's probably nothing serious.|- But you just had one 2 weeks ago!

In 2 weeks a body can turn on you.|Just like that.

While it's turning, eat breakfast.|- Not until Ralph looks me over.

At least have a piece of toast.|It won't show up in the X-ray.

It's roughage.|- I don't know why I bother to cook.

Well, maybe one piece of toast.

Have I got something to tell you!|Guess what.

The Bullards are getting a divorce.

The Bullards?|- The milkman told me. - Who are they?

They live on the next block.|I don't know them,

but I expected it.

You did? Although you don't know them?

I know all about them.|Marjorie told me at bridge.

That poor thing! There must be|really something wrong with him.

How do you know? Maybe|there's something wrong with her.

Oh, no. She's very nice.|I met her at the supermarket.

She may be nice at the supermarket,|but not nice at home.

You know... - No butter!|It's loaded with cholesterol.

2 years ago you'd never heard|of cholesterol. Now it's a big thing!

Laugh if you want, but men my age|are dropping like flies!

Do you read the obituary page?|It's enough to scare you to death.

Then why do you read it?|- Should I bury my head in the sand?

No. But why do you think you have|every disease you hear about?

What do you mean by that?

Come on! Remember|when they operated on Whitey Ford?

You thought|you had bone chips in your elbow.

There definitely was pain there.

Your hypochondria's showing.

I am not a hypochondriac.|Listen,

someday when I'm lying in hospital,|then you'll change your tune.

You better hurry,|you'll miss your train. Bye!

What's today?|- Friday.

Maybe I better cancel lunch|with Winston Burr, the way I feel...

Darling,|I think you could risk a cup of tea.

I don't suppose a cup of weak tea|would hurt me, whatever's wrong.

Your call to Mrs. Bullard, Mr. Burr.|- Thank you. - Bullard?

Is she the one getting a divorce?|- Yeah. How did you know?

We have the same milkman.|- Watch this,

the Winston Burr patented procedure|for potential divorcees:

Hello, Linda.

Winston. Winny Burr.

Linda, I heard the horrible news.|Well, I'm just heartbroken.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Julius J. Epstein

Julius J. Epstein (August 22, 1909 – December 30, 2000) was an American screenwriter, who had a long career, best remembered for his screenplay – written with his twin brother, Philip, and Howard E. Koch – of the film Casablanca (1942), for which the writers won an Academy Award. It was adapted from an unpublished play, Everybody Comes to Rick's, written by Murray Bennett and Joan Alison. more…

All Julius J. Epstein scripts | Julius J. Epstein Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Translation

Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • Chinese - Simplified 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • Chinese - Traditional 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Spanish Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • Japanese 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Portuguese Português (Portuguese)
  • German Deutsch (German)
  • Arabic العربية (Arabic)
  • French Français (French)
  • Russian Русский (Russian)
  • Kannada ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • Korean 한국어 (Korean)
  • Hebrew עברית (Hebrew)
  • Ukrainian Український (Ukrainian)
  • Urdu اردو (Urdu)
  • Hungarian Magyar (Hungarian)
  • Hindi मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesian Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italian Italiano (Italian)
  • Tamil தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Turkish Türkçe (Turkish)
  • Telugu తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • Thai ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Vietnamese Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Czech Čeština (Czech)
  • Polish Polski (Polish)
  • Indonesian Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Romanian Românește (Romanian)
  • Dutch Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Greek Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latin Latinum (Latin)
  • Swedish Svenska (Swedish)
  • Danish Dansk (Danish)
  • Finnish Suomi (Finnish)
  • Persian فارسی (Persian)
  • Yiddish ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • Armenian հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norwegian Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English English (English)

Discuss this Send Me No Flowers script with the community:

Citation

Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

Style:MLAChicagoAPA

"Send Me No Flowers" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 10 Dec. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/send_me_no_flowers_17772>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

Watch the movie trailer

Send Me No Flowers

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.