Seems Like Old Times

Synopsis: Writer Nick Gardenia is kidnapped from his California cliffhouse and forced to rob a bank. Now a fugitive, he seeks help from his ex, Glenda. She is a public defender remarried to a prosecutor, and we get a houseful of hijinks.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Jay Sandrich
Production: Columbia Pictures Corporation
  1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
102 min


- Hi.

- Hi.

Uh, me and my buddy we're having

a little trouble with our car.

We were wondering

if we could use your phone.

I'm sorry, I don't have a phone.

Oh, that's okay,

we don't have a car.

I don't get it.

This clear it up for you?

No, I'm afraid not.

You see, I'm blind.

It's, uh, not a permanent condition.

It comes and goes.

We could've killed you,

you know that.

It's a natural instinct for a man

to defend his home and property.

Worth giving your life up for?

Well, not that particular

property, it's rented.

Well, what the hell you doing

up there all alone, a**hole?

That's okay,

you can call me Nick.

I'm a writer,

I'm working on a book.

What line of work you fellas in?

Stop at the next station,


We need some gas.

- Carmel.

Oh, yeah? Nice town.

Got a nice bank too.

You ever knock off a bank?


Not that I can recall.

Well, this will be

your first time.

We're gonna rob a bank?

You, me and Bee Gee.

What do we want to do that for?

Because that's our line of work.

- I see.

Pull in there, writer.

Now you remember

where this gun is.

Right side, middle of the ribs.

- Fill it up.

Fill it up.


- Regular.

- Premium.

- Premium will be fine.

Want me to check the hood?

- Yeah.

- No.

No. It's already

been checked, thanks.

Any chance of my

going to the john?

- None.

- Just relax.

- I'm relaxed.

Nice day for a drive.

Tell me, where you boys heading?

- Carmel.

- Oregon.


Then right up to Oregon,

that's our home up there.

Nice country.

Eighteen even.

Eighteen even.

Pay the man.

You have my wallet.

- Business.

- Vacation.

- Vacation. On a fishing trip.

Eighteen out of $20.

Here you are.

Yeah, keep the change.

- We know the way.

- Thank you.

- Move it.

I don't know.

We may have to call it off.

I don't think we're gonna find

a parking space.

Just keep circling

'til somebody pulls out.

Can I ask a dumb question?

What do you need me for?

Because you got

a nice honest face.

You're gonna walk up to the teller,

smile, and hand her this note.

"This is a stick-up.

Put all your money in a bag.

"Make one sound

and you're dead."

It's good. Good writing.

Take it from a pro.


You see?

There's a spot, across the

street from the bank.

What am I supposed to do

with this?

Just open your jacket

and let the lady sees it.

Then she'll know

you mean business.

Let's go.

Supposing, once we get inside I

decide to blow your heads off?

How? We don't have no bullets.

- Just kidding.

- Let's go.

There you go.

Thank you. Bye-bye.



- Yes, you can.

What is this?

Read it.

It's self-explanatory.

- Oh, my God!

- I know. I know.

- Oh, my God!

- I feel the same way.

What do I do?

I don't know.

Let's take a look.


put all your money in a bag.

"One more sound

and you're dead."

- Bless you.

Oh, uh

- Please pick it up.

- No, leave it. Leave it there.

Or you can pick it up.

Whatever you

- I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know either.

You want change too?

- Yes, please.

- Okay.

- No change. Keep the change.

Listen, I have nothing

to do with this.

It's those two guys

over there by the desk.

Look at them.

This isn't even loaded.

Oh, God, please, don't hurt me.

I'm not gonna hurt you.

- Hi, Helen.

- Hello, Mrs. Herman.

Mrs. Herman, would you mind

going to the next window?

I'm getting a payroll.

- Okay.

- Thanks.

Listen, do me a favor.

Tell the police I had nothing

to do with this, okay?

Thank you. Nice job.

Is he all right?

Oh, sh*t!


Well, I'm thrilled, too,

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Neil Simon

Marvin Neil Simon (born July 4, 1927) credited as Neil Simon, is an American playwright, screenwriter and author. He wrote more than 30 plays and nearly the same number of movie screenplays, mostly adaptations of his plays. He has received more combined Oscar and Tony nominations than any other writer.Simon grew up in New York City during the Great Depression, with his parents' financial hardships affecting their marriage, giving him a mostly unhappy and unstable childhood. He often took refuge in movie theaters where he enjoyed watching the early comedians like Charlie Chaplin. After a few years in the Army Air Force Reserve, and after graduating from high school, he began writing comedy scripts for radio and some popular early television shows. Among them were Sid Caesar's Your Show of Shows from 1950 (where he worked alongside other young writers including Carl Reiner, Mel Brooks and Selma Diamond), and The Phil Silvers Show, which ran from 1955 to 1959. He began writing his own plays beginning with Come Blow Your Horn (1961), which took him three years to complete and ran for 678 performances on Broadway. It was followed by two more successful plays, Barefoot in the Park (1963) and The Odd Couple (1965), for which he won a Tony Award. It made him a national celebrity and "the hottest new playwright on Broadway." During the 1960s to 1980s, he wrote both original screenplays and stage plays, with some films actually based on his plays. His style ranged from romantic comedy to farce to more serious dramatic comedy. Overall, he has garnered 17 Tony nominations and won three. During one season, he had four successful plays running on Broadway at the same time, and in 1983 became the only living playwright to have a New York theatre, the Neil Simon Theatre, named in his honor. more…

All Neil Simon scripts | Neil Simon Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Seems Like Old Times" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 10 May 2021. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Seems Like Old Times

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.