Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World

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Okay, what we're getting now is, yes,

they're saying it was, in

fact, a fire that erupted

inside the external tank of the ship

exactly 98 seconds after it

entered the asteroid field.

No one is sure what caused the fire

which Ied to the massive explosion

killing all 12 crew members and scientists

aboard the space shuttle Deliverance,

taking with them our last and only hope.

Once again, if you're just tuning in,

the CSA space shuttle Deliverance

has been destroyed.

The final mission to save

mankind has failed.

The 70-mile-wide asteroid known

commonly as "Matilda"

is set to collide with Earth in

exactly three weeks' time,

and we'll be bringing you

up-to-the-minute coverage

of our countdown to the end of days,

along with all your classic

rock favorites.

This is Q1 07.2.

I think we missed the exit.

...they say the damage to

the tower has rendered

all cellular telephones useless.

No word yet on how long

before water and power

will be shut off altogether.

But we'll be bringing you all

the information you need

just as long as we have a Iive feed.

And be sure to stay tuned at 9:00

p.m. Eastern Standard Time

for the End of the World

Awareness Concert.

The human migration continues...

Sorry, dude! It's okay.

What are you doing?

Hey, up yours, pal!

I'm sorry, sir,

that's not covered under

your current policy.

I'm afraid the Armageddon

package is extra, yes.

Well, that protects you and your family

against any sort of apocalyptic disaster.

Asteroids, obviously, plague,

famine, Iocusts...

Drawbacks? Um...

The premiums are high...

I'm sorry... Can you just hold

on for one moment? Thank you.

So feel free to wear

your casual Friday clothing pretty

much any day of the week.

And since Ted in Human Resources

is no Ionger with us,

I thought I'd Iet you all know of a

few positions in upper management

that have been made available.

So, if anyone wants to be Chief

Financial Officer...

CFO? Anyone?

Life has no meaning.

Anyone?

I really think I'm coming

down with something.

On your right!

On your right, buddy.

On your right!

You could have told me that yesterday!

Linda?

Oh, hi, Elsa.

Hi, Mr. Dodge.

Okay, I finish. Okay.

Me estoy volviendo vieja, Mr.

Dodge. I getting older.

I didn't mean to rush you off or anything.

Do you have someplace to be?

I mean, if you want, you could...

I don't know, you could watch TV here,

or something, whatever you Iike.

Oh, my kids are waiting.

Oh, right. Of course. You have kids.

Listen, Elsa, you don't

have to come next week.

Or, you know, ever, if you

don't want to. It's okay.

You firing me?

No, no, no. No, I just...

Is this because I don't watch TV with you?

No. No. I, uh...

I just thought, considering...

There's just no need to...

Nothing. Forget it. It's fine.

You're out of Windose.

More Windose, got it.

See you next week, Mr. Dodge.

Okay.

I regret my entire Iife.

Okay. Okay.

Bye! Bye, now.

Well, it's no longer just

the postal service.

Commercial airlines have discontinued

altogether today.

After much delay, the final flight,

piloted by Delta Airlines,

Ieft Chicago Midway at 3:45 Central Time,

touching down in Seattle at 6:15 Pacific.

Private charters have been

given military clearance

to use intercontinental airspace

at their own risk.

And now the traffic report. Amy?

We're f***ed, Bob.

Thank you, Amy.

Oh, sh*t.

...they have yet to make a

statement regarding rumors

of a classified space launch for high-ranking

government officials,

religious figureheads, and

important contributors

to athletics and entertainment.

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