Schizo Page #3

Samantha, come along,

dear, and Alan-- that's right.

Mrs. Falconer,

you shouldn't have done this.

Nonsense, dear.

If I had had my way,

it would have been

church bells and choirboys.

Have you got them both in there?

Thank you, thank you very much.

All right, now where's the knife?

Hold it still.

(camera clicks)

Ugh!

(screams)

I'm terribly sorry, Madam.

I'll get another one.

I'll get another one.

I'm terribly sorry.

That's disgusting.

Tanya!

Take that to the Falconer party-- now!

(crowd murmuring)

Now, Edna, don't upset yourself.

I tell you, I'll get to the bottom of this.

(murmuring continues)

What's the matter?

It's so hot in here.

I'm just going outside for a minute.

(door creaking)

Well, thank God that's over.

Oh, yes.

Oh--

Here, I'll put those in water.

Thanks, darling.

Your mother's not gonna come round

with pieces of wedding cake, is she?

I'll go and lock the door.

(sighs)

You look terrible.

How can I look terrible?

I'm a radiant bride.

(laughs)

Well, you look radiantly terrible.

(chuckles)

I'll get some coffee.

Oh, lovely.

(clock chiming 8:00)

(clock ticking)

(phone ringing, Samantha gasps)

Hello?

(man on phone) Jean?

Is that you, Jean?

Who is this?

Did you get my present?

I left it by the wedding cake

for you, Jean.

I've got a lot more presents for you, Jean.

Look, I don't know who you are

but if you phone me again

I'm gonna call the police!

Who was that-- Mother?

No, no, just some nutcase.

He's phoned twice already.

Obscene?

No such luck.

Come on, let's go to bed.

I thought you'd never ask.

(laughs)

Are you coming?

Alan?

Has Mrs. Wallace been in today?

No, it's Friday.

That's funny, everything

seems to be moved 'round.

(clock chiming 10:00)

Sam?

Hmm?

You'd tell me if anything

were wrong, wouldn't you?

Yes, of course, like a shot.

Good.

(screams)

What have you done?

Look!

Oh, my God.

Is it dead?

(sighs)

It was never alive.

(scoffs)

Made in Hong Kong.

Oh. . .

(laughing)

I didn't do it, I promise you.

It must have been Mrs. Wallace,

Christ knows why.

(Samantha gasps)

What is it?

"The old jokes are always the best.

Love, Beth. "

Here, hold that.

(both laugh)

Dear God.

Ooh. . .

I don't think we need that anymore, eh?

(laughs)

(clock chiming)

Mmm. . .

I'll be late tonight.

Oh, okay.

You got anything planned today?

No, not really.

I might do some shopping.

Well, two more weeks, then we'll be away.

Mm-hmm.

The sun will do you good.

Bye.

(sighs)

(water running)

(man on radio) The former Turkish

Prime Minister, Mr. Ecevit,

escaped an assassination attempt

when a man pointed a loaded pistol at him

in a New York hotel last night.

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