
Scary Movie 3
WOMAN ON TV:
Day after day...
The store that one might...
I hate television.
It gives me headaches.
There are so many magnetic waves
traveling in the airspace
because of TV and television,
we're losing
as we're supposed to.
Oh, please.
"The cow says blank."
Three letters.
Dude!
"Dude"!
I don't know.
Magnetic waves, brain cells.
I don't understand the
connection between that stuff.
You know what else I heard?
Magnetic waves shrink
silicone molecules.
- Aah!
- Aah!
Oh, my God!
Turn it off!
It's not working!
It's backwards!
- What do we do?
- I don't know!
Oh, my God!
[Television clicks off,
both sigh]
That was kind of scary.
- I know something even scarier.
- What?
Have you heard about
this videotape?
Where they do it on the boat?
And then in the car?
And then in the bathtub?
He's like, "Baby, I love you."
And she's like, "Where are we?"
- And did you see the...
- No.
- Not that tape.
- Oh.
The one with
all the scary images.
After you watch the tape,
the phone rings.
and says you're gonna die in...
Seven days. I saw that one
with Josh last weekend.
You were with Josh last weekend?
- Oh, my God!
- [Laughs]
Oh, yes, I was.
Oh, you ho!
You know it!
Oh!
- [Fabric ripping]
- Aah!
[Telephone ringing]
[Snaps, whimpers]
This is really weird.
Yeah.
Big house, only one phone.
Hello?
Hello?
WOMAN:
I'm coming for you, my precious.
Hi, Mom.
Hi, precious.
Having fun?
Hey, ask her which bathroom has
the vibrating showerhead.
[Thunder crashes]
Hello?
Hello?
[Creaking]
- [Toaster dings]
- [Gasps, screams]
[Squawking]
Katie?
Katie?
Katie?
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
Aah!
[Girl screams]
Ow.
[Girl screams]
God!
[Urinating]
[Girl screams]
[Urinating stops,
screaming stops]
[Urinating resumes]
[Girl screams]
[Urinating stops,
screaming stops]
[Urinating resumes,
screaming resumes, both stop]
[Urinating resumes,
screaming resumes, both stop]
- Oh!
- [Crash]
[Wind whipping]
Whoa.
[Wind whipping]
- Tom, did you hear...
- [Dog barks]
The dogs are acting strange.
[Barking]
[Whimpers]
[Girl screams]
[Girl screams]
Sue!
What are you doing out here?
We were worried sick.
What's wrong?
I wonder what they're
trying to tell us.
ANNOUNCER:
And now...
Washington, D.C.'s
leading morning news program,
"The Morning News."
Good morning.
I'm Ross Giggins.
For our top story,
we turn now to Cindy Campbell.
Thank you, Ross.
There's a developing story
in Middleburg at this hour.
A mysterious
crop circle appeared
cornfield.
Elaborate prank
or extraterrestrial phenomenon?
We'll update you as soon as we
have any further information.
But either way,
is happening in that small town.
Ross?
I'm sorry.
I wasn't listening.
Coming up, more news after this.
- Cindy, you got a second?
- Sure.
I want you to take a look at
this for that strip club expos.
the crop circle story.
Oh, come on. You know
those things are just a hoax.
No, I'm telling you, I sense
something about that cornfield.
Call it women's intuition
or ESPN or both.
But I can tell
when danger's near.
[Gasps]
Ow!
Ow!
My eyes!
Cindy, it's sweeps month.
Ratings mean everything.
People want
human interest stories.
Like the one you did yesterday.
The report
on breast augmentation?
It was just 10 minutes
of topless women.
I mean, come on.
MAN:
Wow!Why are these so interesting?
Oh, for God's sake.
[Sighs]
People don't care about this.
They want hard-hitting stories
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Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"Scary Movie 3" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 26 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/scary_movie_3_17570>.