Sand Castle Page #3

---

-What the hell are you doing?

-What a clusterfuck of a...

Chutsky?

-[Sighs] It's just such a clusterfuck.

-Hey. No, no, no, chutsky.

This whole thing

is such a f***ing clusterfuck.

No. No, no, no. Sergeant...

Hey, sergeant, we're too close.

We're not too close.

We're right where we need to be.

Sergeant, how long do we have?

Can I move? Do we have time to move?

No, we don't have time to f***in' move.

We called in an air strike. Stay put.

[Straining] Okay. Hang on.

[Chutsky mutters] I mean,

we're sitting here all day.

It's hot as sh*t.

My balls are sweating.

F***in' salt stains

under my arm and sh*t.

-[Helicopter approaching]

-Oh, yeah.

Keep your head down.

We've got f***in' backup.

-[Helicopter blades whirring]

-[Grunts]

[Chutsky] Boom!

[Indistinct]

You lose, motherf***er!

Oh, f***. That's why I'm in Baghdad.

That's why I'm in f***ing Baghdad!

-Ocre! You deaf?

-What?

Ocre! You about to puke?

[Softly] I'm good.

Whoo! We f***in' did it, sir.

[Chutsky] That was the most American sh*t

I've ever seen.

Yeah, come on out, chutsky. Walk out now.

We're coming from the north.

[Enzo chuckles]

Ready them titties, Kansas City.

Corporal Enzo, hero, will be home soon.

Okay, right here.

Right here. Right here.

[Enzo] Oh, I'm a bad man.

-Let's go. Dismount.

-Yo, i'mma get all kinds of titties.

Big titties, little titties,

f***in' medium titties.

Oh, sh*t. I'll be straight up, man.

Back home I was f***ing threes, fours.

After a story like this,

I'm definitely f***ing fives, sixes,

maybe even a seven

if I catch me a drunk patriot.

[Grunting and exclaiming]

-What's the sitrep, sergeant?

-[Enzo grunts]

Uh, we've got a wia on the roof.

Uh, Charlie team three's

medevaccing him right now.

Ocre and I blew up a building.

[Chuckles] Yeah, you did.

All right, good job.

Good job, private ocre.

Yeah, he can't hear you.

-Ocre!

-[Matt] Huh?

Come here.

How you feel?

Underpaid.

All right. I'll be sure to pass

your complaint on to management.

Come on.

Hey, don't let these little mini-jihadists

get too close.

F***in' little bombs

strapped all over 'em and sh*t.

[Children clamoring]

[Officer on radio]

All elements, this is Sierra two-eight.

Primary mission, collect

all primary intelligence requirements.

Bag it and tag it.

Area has been cleared.

But keep your head on a swivel, boys.

And welcome to your new home.

Is this a photo op or what?

Take a picture.

Wait, wait, wait.

I gots to do this one.

Yeah, boy!

-Hey! Hey!

-Bad motherf***er.

Hey, knock that sh*t off.

Come on.

-Let's go, corporal.

-Sorry, sergeant.

[Burton] Get the f*** outta here, bro!

[Enzo] Does anybody f***in' knock anymore?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes