San qiang pai an jing qi (A Woman A Gun And A Noodle Shop AKA The First Gun)


Wang's Noodle Shop

- Help! Zhao and Chen!

- What's wrong?

What's he up to?

This Persian is trying to make a sale

by showing off his sword.

You should leave. Go.

Do you have something better

that kills instantly?

For the boss's wife, of course.

The gun....

The greatest invention of mankind.

The latest in technology

for maximum violence.

Just pull your finger back....

Must die.

Moose? Moose, what?

Must die.

Oh, he said, "moose die."

- What does that mean?

- If a moose dies, men will die faster.

- Awesome!

- No, no, no.

Not fast, but instantly!


How much?

- Ten Guan!

- How many Guan?

Ten Guan!

Ten Guan?

- Ten Guan, for this piece of junk?

- That's ridiculous!

- Cheaper. One Guan.

- Nine Guan.

- Two Guan. Three Guan.

- Eight Guan. Seven Guan.

- Three.

- Six. Five.

- Five. Four. Three Guan.

- Three Guan. Deal!

For once in my life...

...I own the world's

most powerful weapon!

Everyone will be amazed.

My lady,

I have something even better.

The cream of the crop,

the most impressive thing ever.

- Want to take a look?

- Of course.

Want to try it out?

Oh, my goodness! It's intense!

I prefer the gun.

Why did you buy a gun?

- Just for fun.

- I don't believe you.

What are you up to?

You're making me nervous.

You're always nervous.

We've been together for a while...

...and you haven't changed a bit.

Not for that long.

Only 71 days.

You're so sweet...

...counting the days.

The boss's wife

has always been a piece of work.

And today she bought a gun.

It seems she's really going

against the boss.

How come the boss was so quiet?

When the cannon went off,

it sounded like thunder.

But he didn't react at all.

I bet he's up to something.


I feel our noodle shop is doomed.

Something's about to happen.

You're scaring me.

Don't be afraid.

I'm here to protect you.

A Painting of a Boy

Boss, it's Zhao.

Come in.

- Boss. How's your leg?

- Fine.

You look better.

Did you hear the cannon?

It was impressive.

The cannon ball went miles away.

She wants to drive me crazy.

Nothing ever changes.

Your wife just bought a gun

from the Persians.

It's this long, this thick,

three barrels...

...made of iron.

- What for?

- I don't know.

Oh, yes...

- ...and "moose die."

- What?

It's a foreign language.

It means instant death.

You know how big the bullets are?

This big! Three of them.

If a moose dies after being shot...

...imagine if that bullet hits a person.

Take the money and leave.

Oh, no! The police are coming!

They heard the cannon!

What should we do?

- Don't panic.

- Where's the gun?

I hid it.


Do you want them to find it

by marking it on purpose?

- Where is Boss Wang?

- He's resting.

He fell while riding a horse.

Earlier today...

...did all of you hear a loud boom?


- It was so loud.

- Yeah.

- It was thunder.

- It was a cannon.

- Someone was here.

- No!

- Search this place!

- For what?

- The cannon.

- Fine...

...I'll give you the tour.

You must be hungry, officer.

Hurry up and make some noodles.





Chief, the prisoners are here.

- Kneel over there.

- On your knees.

- What did you hear on the way?

- A boom.

- What did you see?

- Smoke.

- What can you tell from that?

- Cannon ball is big.

How big?

At least this big.

No, it's this big.

- Where was the cannon?

- Around here.

But somehow it disappeared.

These people are hiding something.

Come over here.

Look at them.

These four people committed adultery.

We are sending them to court.

- Zhang.

- Here.


...our work has been focused

on catching infidelity.

- Yes.

- Are any of them guilty?

Can you tell?

It's hard to say.

The both of you look suspicious.

Officer, I'm innocent.

He's been chasing me,

but I'm not interested.

I bet you two are hiding something.

Officer, you are funny.

I wouldn't have the guts to....

- Zhang!

- Sir!

You are the best detective

among us.

What do you think?

I'd have to investigate.

Look at you,

scaring yourself to death.

We can't break the law.

What's the big deal?

Everything is fine.

I've been so worried.

I can't take it anymore.

How will we handle the gossip

if others find out?

Nobody dies from gossip.

- It's our life. Let others talk.

- Lower your voice.

Didn't you see those prisoners?

So young, and good-looking.

Have probably had an easy life.

Now it's over for them.

We can't be like them,

we have to live well.

Want to leave me?

I'm telling you, not a chance!

It's been 10 years

since I bought you.

You cost me three Guan

and 800 Wen.

Your womb is like a piece of junk.

It won't lay any eggs.

Can't bear me a son...

...and you won't act out a scene

as my son.

I don't ask much.

You bought a gun.

Where did you get the money?

It's none of your business.

It's my own money.

Why did you buy it?

I am telling you, Wang.

This will be the last time

you abuse me like this.

Are you going to shoot me?

I'll show you who's boss.

What's so urgent?

Coming in this late.

Your wife and Li...

...are having an affair.

- For how long?

- I want money.

How long?

It's been a while.

- Where?

- At Southern Hill, in the carriage.

ln the carriage?

How dare they do it in my carriage!

Li, that son of a b*tch!

He came here to be an intern.

What did he learn?

He learned how to steal my woman!

You should send him to jail.

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Zhengchao Xu

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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