Saint John of Las Vegas

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[# Piet Van Meren:

Mr. Buzz]

[Bell rings]

20 bucks on pump 7.

Lucky 7.

You from around here?

Uh, I just moved.

Oh, yeah? Just moved?

For school.

Been here long?

I just asked that.

Heh heh.

I used to live here.

I knew all the spots.

I mean,

you gotta know 'em.

There are

some great places.

And not just for

gambling. There's more.

I mean, gambling, sure.

Do you gamble?

Sometimes.

Sometimes?

That means a lot.

Yeah.

How much is the Instant

Jackpot Madness?

30 million.

Jeez Louise! Why hasn't

somebody popped that bubble?!

I mean, like...

"Give me 1,000 tickets."

Anyone ever done that?

Why not?

Let's do it.

1,000 tickets.

Give me 1,000.

Uh, I don't think

I can do that.

Sure you can.

Yeah, count it.

I'll have to get

the manager.

Get him.

CASHIER:
Hi. Yeah,

we have a customer

who wants 1,000

I.J.M. tickets.

Is that cash?

Yeah.

Okay.

He'll be right up.

I'm not authorized

for that much.

Okay.

So? Do you know

any good places?

Uh, a few.

I just got here.

Well, I could

show you Vegas. Yeah?

Sure.

Oh. Good times.

[Chuckles]

# One, two, three, four #

[Gargling]

[Spits]

JOHN:
They say

you make your own luck.

I never understood that.

You're either lucky,

or you're not.

When I lived in Las Vegas,

I had plenty of luck.

Problem was,

most of it was bad.

So... I drove until

I ran out of gas.

And... here I am.

For now,

I'm taking it slow

and steady.

My name is John,

and I used to be lucky.

I had a great run

for a while.

A smile from me,

or a nod,

and it was, "John, how

are you? Right this way."

I didn't have to order

the usual.

They brought it to me,

comped.

[Tires screech]

[Machine beeps]

[Clears throat]

I tried my credit card on

your machine. It's broken.

The credit card

or the machine?

Five bucks

on pump number seven.

And three

Grand Gimmes.

Three Grand Gimmes.

And four

Who's Your Daddys.

And eight

Mega Mega Megas.

And eight

Mega Mega Megas.

That's 20.

JOHN:
Of course,

a little fun never hurts.

Just to test the waters.

Because if my luck

comes back,

it would be foolish

not to capitalize.

[Applause and whistling]

[Scratching]

[Music playing]

[Huffs]

[Scratching]

[Coins jingling]

Who's Your Daddy.

Congratulations. $22.

22?

When the words "Who's",

"Your", and "Daddy appear,

one in each box,

that's 1,000.

Your ticket has all three in

one box... 22. You're up two.

Heard somebody won Instant

Jackpot Madness last night.

No.

I thought

somebody won.

It's up to 15 million.

15?

Just sayin'.

22, Instant

Jackpot Madness.

[Machine whirring]

Hey. You're not

allowed to look.

Do you have trash?

Don't forget your

five bucks on pump seven.

JOHN:
I guess

I am pretty lucky.

I have a nice house

in a gated community...

a great job...

sitting in a cubicle,

filing claims,

logging calls.

WOMAN:
Thank you for

calling Townsend Insurance.

May I have your claim number?

JOHN:
And...

I have the best seat

in the house.

Thank you for calling

Townsend Insurance.

Can I have your

claim number, please?

So, you know how you're always

playing those scratch card games?

No, I'm not.

My girlfriends and I

all chipped in

and bought a few,

and we won. $100.

Technically, $1,000,

but there were ten of us.

You won?

Yeah.

Okay.

So, we each bought

our own card,

and mine was called

"Who's Your Daddy".

Like,

who thinks of that?

Heh. I'll have to try that. Yeah.

I was using my nail

to scratch it off,

and, like,

nothing's coming off.

And the guy's, like, "You

have to use a quarter."

You should've played

Instant Jackpot Madness.

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