Runaway Bride Page #6

ELAINE:

No, no, don't mention my name in there.

IKE:

Why?

A buzz.

ELAINE:

You can go in now.

Ike goes into Ellie's office. Elaine picks up her phone.

CUT TO:

INT. ELLIE'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

ELLIE is that editor. Stylish and successful looking, she's

about Ike's age. Ellie sits behind a big desk with a scowl on

her pretty face. Her casual-looking husband, Fisher, sits

nonchalantly on the arm of the couch. Ike enters as Ellie reads

Maggie's letter.

ELLIE:

(reading letter)

"Anyway, I'm just dropping you big city

folk this little note to say that I have

thought of a ritual sacrifice that would

satisfy my current appetite: Ike

Graham's column on a platter. Yours

truly, Maggie Carpenter. P.S. -- I

have inclosed a list of the gross

factual misrepresentations in your

article. There are fifteen."

Ike sits as Ellie puts the letter down and takes off her glasses.

IKE:

(chuckles as he sits)

Fully. I like her. She has wit.

ELLIE:

I left four messages. You don't return

my calls.

IKE:

So? I never returned your calls, even

when we were married. And what's

Fisher doing here anyway?

Fisher gets and places a photo of the cat on a bookshelf on his

way to the other side of the room.

FISHER:

Ellie asked me to come down to offer

moral support.

IKE:

Since when does Ellie need moral supp--

ELLIE:

-- It's for you, Ike.

IKE:

What?

ELLIE:

Journalism lesson number one. If you

fabricate your facts, you get fired.

Ellie pushes USA Today lawyer's letter across the desk for him

to read. Ike picks it up and skims the letter. His face is as

impassive as stone.

IKE:

Lesson number two. Never work for your

former spouse.

ELLIE:

That's not nothing to do with it. You

cooked this story up and you know it.

IKE:

I didn't cook up a story. I had a

source.

ELLIE:

Someone reliable, I'm sure. A booze-

hound in a bar?

FISHER:

In vino veritas.

IKE:

Don't knock drunk guys in bars. Drunk

guys in bars are good. It means

they're not driving.

Ike gets up and stands near Ellie, making his point.

IKE (cont'd)

Besides, I'm a columnist. This is what

columnists are supposed to do. This is

what you like. We push, we stretch, we

go out on a limo. That's what makes me

good!

ELLIE:

No, that's what makes you unemployed.

IKE:

I merely write the stuff. You're the

one that serves it up.

Ike puts down the letter and puts his glasses back into his

pocket.

ELLIE:

Not anymore. I have to draw the line.

(pushing a piece

of paper)

She sent us this list. Our lawyers say

it's actionable.

Ellie hands Ike Maggie's list.

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