Ruggles of Red Gap Page #3

Look here, now, you go easy

on this clothes business

- and remember I like checks.

- Egbert.

- Go ahead.

- After you, sir.

- No, no. Go on, go on.

- Oh, no, no, sir.

What, are we gonna do this

all over again?

Madame, what, er...

what can I do for you today?

We want a lot of things

for the gentleman.

- Ah, for the gentleman?

- This is the gentleman.

Ah.

Oh, something...something similar

to what he's wearing?

Similar to... What is this,

a second-hand store?

Oh, no, madame!

You see, he got these clothes

under the most peculiar circumstances.

You see, he...

Mm.

The gentleman's present condition

is purely the result of an accident.

The gentleman's hotel

burned down during the night.

The gentleman rushed from the burning

building in, er...the altogether.

Wait, wait, wait! What is all this?

The gentleman was forced to accept

the loan of garments from onlookers.

All circus people!

Now I understand the gentleman's

ridiculous appearance!

Well, you...you ain't

no geranium yourself.

Egbert.

Would you be kind enough to show us

something in morning coats?

Morning coats?

Mais oui, monsieur. Un moment.

Try to walk, Egbert.

What do you think of him, Ruggles?

In the main, madam,

I am not dissatisfied.

I think he looks very distingu.

Gay nothing. I look like that bantam

rooster I had before it was run over.

When you came in here,

you looked like that bantam rooster

after he was run over.

Voil, monsieur, the spats!

Oh, now, look-a-here, Bill! Now,

I don't have to wear them things, do I?

Spats, sir, mark the difference

between a man well turned out

and a man merely dressed.

Now, Egbert, go over and sit down

and be well turned out.

No, sir, I won't wear 'em.

I won't wear 'em.

They'll make me look like

my drawers were hanging down.

- Monsieur!

- No, sir.

I can be pushed just so far

and no further!

- Monsieur! Un moment!

- Egbert! Egbert!

Ruggles, Ruggles, go...go catch him!

Oh, dear!

Why, Egbert,

you look like a different man!

Yeah, maybe I'd better change

my name.

Here, here, here, here!

What are you gonna do now?

- We're...we're going to trim it.

- Oh, no, you won't!

But, Egbert, it doesn't go with the spats.

I don't care. That moustache

is gonna stay just the way it is.

What would the fellows say in Red Gap,

if they saw me come home

with a cut moustache?

No, sir, you don't go and get...

All right, all right, you can chew the rag

about it as much as you want.

I ain't gonna let you do it.

It took me 20 years

to build up this moustache

and I ain't gonna have

nobody monkey with it now.

Oh, Egbert!

Oh, Effie!

- Hm.

- Oh, madam!

Gah!

Oh, Bill!

Effie, I wouldn't do that to a dog.

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