Synopsis: In Nelson, the chief of the firemen C. D. Bales is a man with complex since he has a huge nose. When his friend Dixie rents her house to the gorgeous student of astronomy Roxanne, he falls in love with her but keeps his feelings as a secret. C.D. hires the handsome fireman Chris and Roxanne asks C.D. to help her to date him. However Chris is an average American with very limited culture and he asks C.D. to help him to get in her pants. C.D. writes letters disclosing his feelings for her and Roxanne is seduced by the man that writes such letters. What will happen when she meets Chris?
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Fred Schepisi
Production: Columbia Pictures Corporation
  Nominated for 1 Golden Globe. Another 3 wins & 1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
107 min

Dixie, it's me.

Hi, how are you doing, girl?

Yeah, I'm on my way.

I'll be there in about five minutes.

I'm bringing it.

I've only had it a year and a half.

I told you I'd return it. Okay.

So long, talk to you later.

All right, all right. Bye.

I'm walkin', yes, indeed

And I'm talkin' about you and me

Yeah, I'm hopin'

Oh, yeah

Now I'm forming

Words with my tongue

Now I'm stumbling

But I'm okay now

Now I'm walkin' down the steps

Because it's easier

Than walkin' up the steps, hey

Didn't slide

Oh, that's a tough break for me

Oh, yeah

Now I'm having a small heart attack

But I'm recovering, hey, yeah

Now I'm seeing

Two coked-up hopheads

Comin' at me

Could be trouble...

Hey, off the sidewalk.

Other side of the street, scum.

Now, come on.

It's a cop.

Wait a minute.

If he's a cop, where's his gun?

He's the fireman.

Cut a wide swath, p*ssy.

All right, all right.

Thank you, ass wipe.

Christ, that's the biggest no...

Don't say it.

Quite a hood ornament

you got there, pal.

Oh, here it comes.

I really admire your shoes.

- What?

- I love your shoes.

What do you mean?

And I was just thinking that as much

as I really admire your shoes...

...and as much as I'd love

to have a pair just like them...

...I really wouldn't wanna be

in your shoes... this particular time and place.

I don't really know karate.

I didn't think so.

Oh, damn. Get up.

- Son of a...

- Get pissed, Rich.

- I am pissed.

- Okay.

Oh, 15-love.

Help, my nose.

Okay, come on, come on.

Come on.

Okay, you want trouble,

you're gonna get trouble.

Oh, blood.


Okay, that's the way

you wanna play?

You broke my nose.

All right.

Had enough yet?




Are we having fun yet?



Let's play again sometime.









Dix. Where the hell is she?

Oh, hi.

Here's your racket.


What's this stuff on it? Vitalis?

Oh, no, it's blood.

Where's my tea?


You wanna tell me about it?

You're too young.

Come here, Grover.

Come here, Grover.


Grover, come here.


Damn it.

There'd better be a window open,


I'm gonna have you neutered.

Oh, God.

Don't go anywhere.

I'll go around to the front of the house.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no.


Oh, brother, I can't believe it.

More, more, more.


More, more. Thank you, thank you.

Goddamn it,

we're supposed to put them out!

Guys, guys.

Oh, what now?

- Oh, no.

- What's going on?

I have a dream.

It's not a big dream,

it's just a little dream.

My dream... And I hope

you don't find this too crazy.

- Is that I would like the people

of this community... feel that if, God forbid,

there were a fire...

...calling the fire department

would actually be a wise thing to do.

You can't have people, as their houses

are burning down, say:

"Whatever you do,

don't call the fire department."

That would be bad.

Please, get it cleaned up.

Don't make me have to explain it.

- No problem, chief.

- We'll do it.



I'm locked out of my house.

I can get you back in.

Come on inside, I'll get some tools.

I don't have any clothes on.

You want a coat or anything?

No, I really like to stand naked

in this bush in the freezing cold.

I'll get the tools.


Hi, chief. What is it?


locked out of their house.

- Need any help, chief?

- Looks pretty boring.

- I'll take care of it.

- Okay, bye.

- Ralston.

- We're in trouble.

Nobody had a coat?

You said you didn't want a coat.

Why would I not want a coat?

- You said you didn't want a coat.

- I was being ironic.

Oh, irony.

Oh, no, no, we don't get that here.

See, people ski topless here

while smoking dope... irony

is not really a high priority.

We haven't had any irony here

since about '83...

...when I was the only practitioner

of it.

I stopped, because I was tired

of being stared at.

Oh, brother.

You shouldn't leave your lights on

when you're locked out.

You waste a lot of electricity.

You can hide in that bush over there,

and I won't see your nakedness.

I noticed you don't have any tattoos.

I think that's a wise choice.

I don't think Jackie Onassis

would have gone as far...

...if she'd had an anchor on her arm.

Well, every job has a perfect tool.

Let's see.

This lock doesn't accept MasterCard.

I'm gonna have to try the old reliable.

And when I say... old reliable,

I'm lying...

...because I've never tried

this before.

- You may not wanna watch this.

- Okay.


God, I hate heights.

What are you doing up there?

I'm freezing.

For God's sake, put something on.



There you go.

I'm averting my eyes, finally.

Oh, look what you got me into,

Grover. Thanks.

Do you wanna come in...?

I sort of already did.

I figured you must be starving... I made us some cheese

and some vegetables au naturel.

Maybe you'd like some wine

with your nose.


Wine will be fine.

Do you have a straw?

No, I don't actually. Why?

No particular reason.


Party trick.

Well, a nose by any other name.

Would smell as sweet.

My name is C.D. Bales.

I'm the fire chief.

You can call me Charlie if you want.

My name is Roxanne.

Thanks for helping me before.

I've been in this house.

I know who owns it.

Dixie? I liked her.

She gave me a real good deal

for the summer.

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Steve Martin

Stephen Glenn Martin (born August 14, 1945) is an American actor, comedian, writer, producer, playwright, author, and musician. Martin came to public notice in the 1960s as a writer for The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, and later as a frequent guest on The Tonight Show. In the 1970s, Martin performed his offbeat, absurdist comedy routines before packed houses on national tours. Since the 1980s, having branched away from comedy, Martin has become a successful actor, as well as an author, playwright, pianist, and banjo player, eventually earning him an Emmy, Grammy, and American Comedy awards, among other honors. In 2004, Comedy Central ranked Martin at sixth place in a list of the 100 greatest stand-up comics. He was awarded an Honorary Academy Award at the Academy's 5th Annual Governors Awards in 2013.While he has played banjo since an early age, and included music in his comedy routines from the beginning of his professional career, he has increasingly dedicated his career to music since the 2000s, acting less and spending much of his professional life playing banjo, recording, and touring with various bluegrass acts, including Earl Scruggs, with whom he won a Grammy for Best Country Instrumental Performance in 2002. He released his first solo music album, The Crow: New Songs for the 5-String Banjo, in 2009, for which he won the Grammy Award for Best Bluegrass Album. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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