Rocket Science Page #3

Uh...

it... it...

Hold it further away

from your mouth.

What cannot

a house divided do?

It can't...

can't st...

can't... can't...

Mr. President...

a house divided can't...

Some help

from the citizenry.

It can't stand.

I thought it would

sh*t itself.

Thank you.

How about a round of applause

for the good commoner?

Ladies and gentlemen,

the silence

with which you have listened to

Mr. Lincoln during his hour...

You look taller onstage.

Agnes.

Agnes. Agnes.

Agnes.

I'm trying

not to listen, okay?

Distinctly not to... you're like

one foot away, so just...

Do you wanna

hear your problem?

You've no agenda.

Strictly head-in-

the-ground material.

Look at me.

Look at me.

I wake up every morning

and what do I do?

I create an agenda

for the day,

which is a sub-agenda

for the month,

which is in itself

a pie sl...

which is in itself

a pie slice

of my agenda

for life.

Do you want to hear

my purpose for today?

L... uh, I...

no.

L... I...

I can assure you

that I absolutely

do not.

Probably call the cops

on me anyway.

Hey, Adolf,

switch with me.

Upsy-daisy.

This is my seat.

Like all seats

on this vehicle,

yours has been paid

for with taxpayer money.

Which means that I

or anyone else

has just as much right

to it as you do.

In fact, given

the distinction

between what your family

surely pays in taxes and mine,

I think it's safe to say the seat

is substantially more mine than yours.

Do you see now?

I'll be taking just a minute to talk

to the little man,

and then you can go on borrowing

my seat for as long as you like

until I want it again,

right?

Coach Lumbly,

with the pilgrim hat,

she teaches patterns

of adult living.

She's on her third husband,

name of Wallace Lumbly. Wallace III.

It's a particular pattern she

doesn't lecture us on in class.

Anyway, she came up to me after

a presentation on egalitarianism

and said that although my argumentative

skills were at the fetal stage,

she sensed, somehow she

intuited my potential

and she invited me

on the team.

So now here I am two years later

doing the same thing with you...

recruiting,

ferreting out the debating

talent from the masses.

That's you.

I've ferreted you.

You mean...

you mean

public speaking?

Like, speaking...

in public?

No, I don't think that's...

that's not... that's not very...

Resolved that

the federal government

should support the

teaching of abstinence

in public schools...

from sex.

It's a big step up

from farming.

That was last year's

resolution.

Yeah, I know.

Suit yourself.

But deformed people

are the best.

Maybe it's because they

have a deep resource of anger.

It serves them well.

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