Ripped Page #6

sounded crazy.

Sh*t, I was there and

i don't believe it.

Here's what we do.

We drop the story, we

accept our situation, and

we go back to what

we were going to do.

You mean start

our business?

Sell coffee out of my Van?

Yeah.

Think about it, with

inflation, we could be

like making two

bucks a cup.

For coffee?

You sound crazy

as sh*t right now.

We'll call it two

buck a cuppa coffee.

You guys here

to fix the satellite?

The f***'s a satellite?

What are we,

f***in' astronauts?

What do you mean

"satellite?"

Who the f*** are you?

My name's Brad.

I f***in' live here.

We're friends of Debbie's.

Uh, Debbie? You mean my mother?

Oh sh*t!

That's Debbie's kid.

Debbie's been f***in'!

That's her receipt!

Uh, yeah, listen, my mom's

friends don't smoke, so...

You don't know

your mom's friends.

That's my f***in'

bag of joints, man!

What the f***?

F*** man you

smoking my weed man?

Jesus, guys you

smoked half my stash.

Oh relax, we'll

buy you more.

Call your dealer.

My dealer?

When's the last time

you bought weed?

Where do you get it from?

You just buy it.

You just walk into

7-11 and go buy weed?

Yeah, can me get some

chips, some soda, oh, and

some weed please?

Wait, you guys know

weed's legal now, right?

Wait, what?

I don't know why we need

this doctor to get pot

from a store.

Well, if you have a

prescription, they give

a discount, so...

Ahh.

That's a good deal.

Part of the discount.

It is my birthday.

Happy birthday.

See, yeah. I

told you I'd hook you up.

Hello nurse!

I am not the nurse.

I am Dr. gales.

Well with a body like

that, you ought to be a nurse.

Um, you don't have to

take your shirt off...

Well, I've taken my shirt

off for uglier girls,

so it's not a problem.

Um, I assume that you're having

trouble sleeping at night?

No, I sleep all

through the night.

You look like you're in

a lot of chronic pain.

No, but I do have an itch

you can scr-

-atch.

Mr. Cornell.

Reeves.

I can't write you a

prescription for medical

marijuana unless there's

an actual need, do you

understand?

Right.

Mm.

Do you like Italian?

You're under a lot of

pressure aren't you?

Right.

And you need something

to help calm you down.

Right!

Back hurts?

-Right!

-Can't sleep at night?

-Yeah!

-Constant migraines?

Yes, listen.

You take your shirt off,

I'm going to take my shirt

off, and we gonna

start f***in'.

I am not a prostitute.

I didn't call

you a prostitute.

Okay.

Let's just say you gave

me a little medical

rubba-dub-dub.

You know like a medical

rub in a medical way?

Non-prostitute, but just

medically induced rub.

-Just a, you know...

-In a non-prostitute way?

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