Riding in Cars with Boys

There on a windswept bluff, he stands

waiting. The man of your dreams.

The man who'll love you more

than anything the rest of your life.

You run to each other.

Your bodies, your lips...

...they're coming closer and closer

together. Until, finally...

...you kiss.

Okay, go.

Janet, like this.

I feel weird, Bev.

Weird? Wait till he shoves

his tongue in your mouth.

Ann, did you get the lights

for the dining room?

I'm looking for them, Teresa.

Now this is Christmas, huh?

Yes, it's beautif ul.

Have Lou look for them.

She wants it up

before Leo and Bev get back.

I gotta go.

Okay, Leo.

Beverly Ann Donof rio, your father's

waiting to go buy the tree!

I'm coming, Mom!

Okay, so is Christmas.

- This song's giving me a headache.

- Wait. Before you go with Pop.

Why would a guy

put his tongue in my mouth?

What?!

A boy does that because

he wants you to bite it off.

Go.

Bye, Mom.

Hi.

- You ready?

- Yeah.

Let's go.

- Pop, everyone's decorating the house.

- Good.

Janet wanted to come.

When you're in college,

it'll be her turn.

Dreaming of warmth?

Dream with the Everly Brothers.

- Good, that's our song!

- Great! Ready? One, two:

Pop, this is it! Pull over.

The big one, there. See?

I'll buy that for you when I'm rich.

- I bet you will.

- Mom and sis would like it.

You know what you want for Christmas?

You want the bike, right?

It's the bike. But you think

it's too expensive.

See, I know how you think.

Speak up. If you don't ask for

anything, it's what you get, nothing.

Okay.

There's this guy, Billy Schnar,

he's really cute.

Billy Schnar?

We're the smartest in class.

You know who he likes? Guess!

- Who?

- Melissa Thomas, you know her?

The one with braces and ugly red hair.

She thought Israel was in Europe.

You know why he likes her? Guess!

- Because she's stupid.

- No, because she's got boobs!

Or it looks like she does,

but she doesn't. She wears a bra...

...which squishes her fat together...

...and makes her look like

she has big boobs.

Pop, I'm gonna die

if I don't marry Billy Schnar.

I'm gonna die all because

Melissa has boobs?

That's just way too tragic,

even for Shakespeare.

Okay, Pop, so that's why for

Christmas, I'd like a bra.

To enhance what I got,

which is more than Melissa.

- You're too young.

- Pop, you can't negotiate my boobs.

Too young or not, I've got them.

I'm a woman.

- It's hard to see through my clothes.

- Quiet!

The answer is no.

Keep your mind on books, not boys.

This is why therapists are wealthy:

moments like this.

Why didn't he just get her the bra?

/t's certainly cheaper than a bicycle.

Parents and the damage they can do.

Sometimes, it's endless.

But she survived.

y ou know what they say:

'That which doesn't kill you,

makes you want to die. '

/f she was Southern,

she'd have turned life into a song.

Since she's from Connecticut,

she turned it into a memoir.

Someone wants to publish it,

if she clears one hurdle.

So she called me for help.

That's why this is a tough day

to tell her /'m leaving her.

/ can always tell when she's nervous.

She wears a lot of makeup.

And today, she's packed on

an extra layer of nervous.

Forty minutes late.

I'm not complaining.

- It's just so unlike you.

- Sorry.

We went off to solve the problem.

Her problem. Mine would have to wait.

- What happened?

- You're cold, lean into the vent.

Sorry.

- Thanks for driving me to Wallingford.

- Just make it fast.

If Ray doesn't sign,

they won't publish it.

He will.

- I know seeing Ray is hard for you.

- Seeing Ray doesn't bother me.

It should. And I understand.

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