Richard Pryor ...Here and Now Page #5

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Split and sh*t.

I don't know, man. I used

to get drunk and try to talk.

And you can never

understand a drunk...

and he'll explain

anything to you.

Right? Police come up--

''What happened here?''

Hey! I know!

I was in the--

Sh*t! I was--

Wait. Hey, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Sh*t!

See him drunk outside.

Motherf***er get drunk,

start cryin' and sh*t.

You--

Sh*t.

The motherfuckers!

Motherf***er-- You go home,

be f***ed up. You ever--

- How's your mama?

- How's my mama?

I beg your pardon.

I'll slap you in the mouth

with my dick.

One at a time, please.

I gonna finish with this motherf***er

ask me about my mama.

How's your mama?

You ever go home drunk and

you try to get to your bed...

and the house moves?

You know, it just moves. I don't know

where it's going, but it'll be--

And you can't get to it. You say,

''Just let me get this foot moving...

and I'll make it

to this f***in' bed.''

And your mind start

f***in' with ya.

''Don't be sick.''

Uh, I'm not gonna be sick.

Goddamn it,

I'm not going to be sick.

''Yes, you are.''

No, I won't. I won't be sick.

I don't wanna be.

Let me lay down on the floor.

This sh*t--

Just lay on the floor.

Please,just--

I'll lay down here. I'll be all right.

Just let me take the rug

and cover myself.

Just--

And you start prayin'

and sh*t, right?

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Don't let me be sick,

God, please. Oh, God.

And you can't find a position

that's comfortable.

I don't give a f*** where you lay

when you drunk, it ain't comfortable.

Uh, here it is. Right.

No, that ain't it. I'll just--

There. That's it.

Now that's real comfortable.

Oh, God, no, please.

Oh, God,

I'll never drink again.

Believe me.

Just let me make it

to the toilet.

And you crawl

to the toilet bowl.

Let me crawl

to the toilet bowl.

My place of rest.

And we can make some funny-ass sounds

when you get sick.

You throw up,

I mean, it's unique.

You never hear that sh*t

any other time.

You know, the--

I never make

that sound ordinarily.

And you ever just--

You ever heave from your nuts...

like you just get--

get one of them going?

And it look like you

become a decorator.

You know, like one spot

ain't good enough.

No, let's-- Over here.

Get a little on your shoes.

That's nice.

You wake up in your garage.

Under your car.

Dogs be looking at you

and sh*t.

That's when--

That's when you know you f***ed up,

when your dog won't come to you.

And I don't know--

Where does that breath come from?

Where does the breath come? It's

like somebody just sh*t in your mouth.

And walked in it

and sh*t like that.

You ever wake up

and it hit the pillow?

You'd be sleeping,

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