Real Time Page #2

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making fun of the way

one of those people looks.

Well, he's-

he's got a f***ing-

Yeah, he's got a harelip,

and guess what.

He doesn't like people who

owe him large amounts of money

calling him

Mr. Funny Mouth.

Now, are you gonna piss or what?

I can't.

I'm having trouble here.

Could you make, like,

a waterfall sound?

What?

Just like Niagara Falls,

just go-

It'll help me go.

Andy, you've got three seconds

before I shoot

your f***ing dick off.

Okay, okay,

here we go.

Oh, there we go.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Idiot.

Oh.

Let's go.

F***!

This is the sort of

f***ing luck I have.

I smell like

a f***ing hobo right now.

Get in the f***ing car.

Now, put your seat belt on

and stop dicking around, Andy.

Man.

Ah, such a classic

track to hear on the station

that plays all your favorites,

CL 97.3.

Up next, we're jumping ahead to 1970

with Lighthouse

and One Fine Morning.

# One fine morning, girl, I wake up #

What are you doing?

The f***'s it look like I'm doing?

I already told you no.

What do you mean, no?

I already told you,

you can't smoke.

Now, put it out.

What, are you f***ing kidding me?

I don't want to breathe that crap.

I'll roll the window down.

Didn't you smoke for, like,

20 f***ing years, Reuben?

Yeah, and then I realized

it was disgusting.

Now, put it out.

So we're just gonna sit here,

driving around all day?

They just got some

polar bears at the zoo.

We could go to the art gallery,

check out some paintings.

Anything you want, Andy.

You just figure it out

and let me know.

It's hard to think

without a smoke, you know?

I don't know.

What?

Spill it.

There's a woman,

works over on Regent,

looks kind of like Rosie Perez.

Is that what you want to do,

get a hooker?

I don't know, Reuben.

Hey, if that's what you want,

I mean, then fine.

I'm-I'm just asking.

Man, let's see.

Art gallery,

Rosie Perez look-alike naked.

Stare at f***ing polar bears,

see Rosie Perez look-alike naked.

I mean-

It's your hour.

If that's what you want to do.

You don't like Rosie Perez.

You-you don't think

she's a good actress.

No, I like her fine.

And she's f***ing hot as balls, right?

Yeah, hot as balls.

And I don't want to die

knowing that I could have f***ed

a piece of ass

that looked just like her, do you?

Like I said, Andy,

it's your hour.

Well, here's Regent.

You want to head down that way?

There's no right answer, Andy.

If that's what you want to do...

Hmm.

Let's go in, Andy.

Okay.

I mean, look, it's definitely

not gonna take an hour, Reuben.

I don't think I even really

want to f*** her.

I just want her to, like,

take her clothes off

and look at her,

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