Reach Me Page #4

There's no way I'm getting

near that Nazi dog.

When I was in second grade, best friend,

before I met you, he lived next door to me.

His name was Jimmy, and Jimmy had one.

He got in an argument with this Indian kid.

Like, he's from India with

the red dot and the turban.

Anyway, the Indian

kid goes to hit Jimmy,

and Jimmy's dachshund

jumps up, and he...

he bites the Indian kid on

the lip, and he don't let go.

I'll never forget it to this day.

I'm seven years old,

and the poor turban, it's ruined for life

all because of this Nazi weiner dog.

No way I'm getting near it. No way.

Gracias.

Besides, he told you to shoot it.

He looked at you when he said it.

Hi.

- You want to go first?

- That's not funny.

- All right, I was just kidding.

- Why are you here?

- You sound stressed. Are you stressed?

- No, I'm not stressed. I'm fine, yes.

- Okay, okay. All right.

- How about you?

Well...

Father, I did it again.

Bank robber this time.

- Bank robbers.

- Bank robbers.

How many men have you killed, Wolfie?

- 431/2.

- A half?

- Yeah.

- A half?

Well, two of us did

this one guy, you know,

but that was at the same time,

so we both got credit.

44 men.

They're all bad guys, father.

These are bad guys, you know?

They're all killers. I mean, the world's

a better place without these men.

Yeah, well maybe, maybe,

but you're not a good guy, Wolfie.

You're using the law as a shield.

That's why you come here to absolve

your sins, because you feel guilty.

You've appointed yourself an

agent of divine retribution,

but that's God's role, not yours.

Thou shall not kill!

- I can't help it.

- Yes, yes.

- You can help it.

- How?

- Quit the L.A.P.D.

- I don't know how to do anything else.

Five hail Marys, three our fathers.

- You know what to do next.

- Yeah... wait, father. Wait. Hey.

Let's lock it up. Nice and quiet,

please. Picture's up.

Is this your first time

doing a love scene?

- Yeah.

- Well, don't worry. I've done 100 of 'em.

Best thing to do is not think

about it too much, you know?

Otherwise you can get inside your head.

You know what I mean?

- Right.

- Just relax and let it happen, okay?

- Okay. Thank you.

- Yeah.

Governor?

Bra strap.

Oh, Eve, can you take your bra off?

We're only gonna see your face.

We're shooting you

from the shoulders up.

You know, if it's a problem

they can band-aid your nipples.

Band-aid my nipples?

Yeah, you know, if you feel uncomfortable

with them touching my chest, you know?

After all, we have only

just met each other.

No. No, it's... it's...

if the... I mean, if the camera's

not gonna see anything then...

- No.

- I guess it's okay.

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