Rancho Deluxe

B- Bar or Lazy-T?

B- Bar.

Now, why do you say that?

Because the fire road runs

up above their corrals,

And you can't see it

from the house.

Let's toss a coin.

Let's just decide.

Did you ever walk a quarter

between your fingers?

Never mind that. That's the first

thing they teach you in jail.

How to walk a quarter

between your fingers.

Simpleminded card tricks are next.

I'll do it.

You can practice walking the coin.

See you got to where you're real

proud of it. Where's the saw?

In the bed.

Brought the little McCullough.

That thing is so damn hard to start.

You are nervous.

Shall I show you

a few card tricks?

Just show me that thing start.

Did you gas this mother up?

Smell it, Cecil.

You flooded it.

Then we've got to wait it out.

Just be a couple,

of sleepy rustlers...

waiting' for somebody to come up

here and mend fence.

There's no way outta here

except for that fire road,

So we're not gonna put 'em to

any trouble making' the arrests.

How many cows

b- Bar running' here?

Couple of thousand

on the summer range.

Minus this one.

That's right, you're gonna

wanna figure that one in there too.

See, if you and I were grownups,

the b-Bar would be running'...

a full 2,000 head

on the summer range.

Now they're down to 1,999,

and there's hardly any sense in goin' on.

I'm gonna give it another try.

IJack?

Do you believe in the tooth fairy?

The one that takes your tooth

from under the pillow?

Yeah.

I do if you do, Cecil.

Well, I do too then.

What Id plan would be to watch the Tuesday

night livestock reports from butte...

and see what we can get for four hooves,

a head and 125 pound of cow guts.

We know it's not a coyote this time.

Well, let's report it

before it gets blamed on us.

My plan would be to

mail that to somebody.

Well, all right. If that

means something to you.

Miss castle, I hate to be so late in

gettin' to you on the rent.

The Indian and I,

we've- We've been out of town,

And now there seems

to be, I don't know, some problem...

in transferring funds

from our savings account...

to our special

checking account without, uh,

Losing our Christmas bonus.

Come on.

Get to the point.

Well, I was hoping

that you'd let us...

Pay our rent

with 100 pounds of u. S. Prime beef.

Now, this is about

double the value we owe you.

Or more.

Is this reservation cattle?

Oh, no, ma'am.

Grain fed.

We swapped

a jeep for it.

See, we don't want to lose our

Christmas bonus down at the bank.

Last month it was a sheep.

And next month

it will be hard cash.

And it was still warm.

Yes, ma'am.

Cost us a rototiller.

- We got beat out of a lot of value

on that one. - Okay.

We was gonna check

the livestock reports,

And see what hooves

was goin' for.

Shut up, curt!

How in the hell

did they get in here?

Fire service road.

I'm gonna close that road.

You can't. It's a fire road.

I'll go to Helena,

see the governor and close that road.

I've closed

service roads all over Montana.

I'm not gonna...

have a west that's not free.

And Ill not have my stock

breakin' their legs in gopher burrows.

And Ill not have

a west that's not free...

and at this point

in the 20th century,

I'm not gonna be

plagued by rustlers.

When's that chopper mechanic

get here from billings?

IWednesday.

Well, you tell him

we hunt predators, airlift big game...

and track rustlers

with this son of a b*tch.

And we can't afford

carburetor trouble in blind canyons again.

Yes sir, john. I'll tell him.

She sure sounds good

to me now, though.

One more bit of engine trouble,

And I stand up at the

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