Rage Page #3

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she looks too fat in the dress thing.

But that's Dorothy.

Like, she's always crying. She...

I think that's enough now,

Lettuce.

There's one other thing. This...

This Dorothy girl who's, er...

who's riding with me on the back,

she's... she's always crying.

And she's also very, very thin,

very thin. Like an insect.

I don't think...

I don't think she is well, actually.

Actually, I am quite worried about her.

No, I don't wanna sit. Ready?

My name is Frank and I take pictures.

Mona Carvell.

Writer.

Critic.

My name is Diamonds.

Er... they call me Tiny.

I have no idea why.

My name is Jed,

and I'm Mr Diamond's bodyguard.

Is that OK, kid?

You want me to do it again?

Well, I have no idea what I'll write.

I haven't seen the collection yet.

Merlin does not share

his creations in advance.

More's the pity.

One could help. One could advise.

You see, sadly,

he believes he's making art.

But fashion is not an art form.

If it's anything at all,

it's pornography.

To which millions are addicted.

Hopelessly addicted.

Take the look in a woman's eyes

when she's shopping.

It's a crazed lust

of a desperate junkie,

who can't afford the real thing,

so will settle for any rubbish

they sell on the street.

It's much worse than heroin,

take it from me.

Oh, have I shocked you? Good!

And as for the designers,

they're mostly desperate,

deluded individuals,

who all think

they're doing something new.

But nothing's new in this game.

If you think you're in,

you're already out.

You started already?

OK.

I did Afghanistan, the Gulf War.

I was one of the first embedded

with our boys in Iraq.

That's my job.

It's more than a job,

it's a vocation.

I shoot.

Not with a gun, though I know how to.

You have to. Places I've been,

the things I've seen.

You don't know what danger is

till you've been in a war zone.

You don't know what death is.

You know something, kid?

If somebody told me that I could

never take another picture,

I would go right home

and put my head in the gas oven.

If I had a home. Or an oven.

But I live in a hotel.

Actually, it's a dive.

That's the best kind of place to live.

I don't bother to unpack.

I keep a bag by the door, ready,

just in case I get the call.

Things.

You don't need things in this life.

You need mobility and chances.

Now, when you get a chance, kid,

you should take it,

cos you wake up a minute later

and they say you're too tired

to see action.

Tired? Do I look tired?

What they mean is old.

But this is experience in my face.

Experience.

See, you're young

but you won't always be young.

That's the thing, kid.

Hello again.

I've been thinking, Michelangelo,

and I would like to give you

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