Quick Change

Synopsis: When a man dressed as a clown enters a bank and tries to rob it, no one takes him seriously at start. But as this New Yorker pulls this daring robbery with the help of his friends, it looks like leaving the bank with all the stolen money is the easy part! All they have to do now is make it out of the city and to the airport. They have plenty of time, but its not that easy as they seem to get out of one problem only to fall into another. Will they make before the cops catch up with them?
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Production: Warner Home Video
Rotten Tomatoes:
89 min

Nude women!

Nude women!

Clowns welcome!

Clowns welcome!

Nude women! Clowns welcome!

- Hey! I got three more minutes.

- Come back tomorrow.

- I said we're closed, Bozo.

- I wouldn't.

And that's "Mr. Bozo," okay?

Say, that's right. It ain't quite

closing time yet.


...let's not mess with me today, okay?

I'm robbing the bank.

What the hell kind of clown are you?

- The crying-on-the-inside kind, I guess.

- Look, I'm just an old man.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Let's go.

This is a robbery.

Do you believe this?

- This is a robbery.

- It is!

Thank you.

All right, quiet, put your hands on top

of your head. Stand up.

We're all gonna die.

We're all gonna die.

We're all gonna die!

Button it up, pal.

Nobody likes a whiner.

Don't anybody move.

What did I just say?

All right. That's better.

- Fill this up with regular, please.

- That's my money.

- Don't worry. It's insured.

- She didn't give me no receipt yet.

They can't insure it

if I don't got no receipt.

Would you please give him a receipt.

And you...

...watch the double negatives, huh?

- Yes, sir.

Okay, anybody else need a receipt?

Last chance.

Okay, we're all going into the vault now.

Keep your hands on your heads.

- Let's go.

- Do as he says, everyone.

- This will all be over with presently.

- Don't dilly-dally. That's it.

Hey! Move it! Move it!

Move it back!

- Do you have the key to this?

- You bet.

I'll need another one of these

filled up from in there. Thanks.

And I'm gonna need you

to make a phone call for me...


Now, the police are gonna want me

to let some of you go...

...as a sign of good faith.

The best way to get out

is to stay calm.

If they want proof that I'm serious...

...I'll carve up the troublemakers first.

Jesus, God!

- Shut up.

- Oh, Jesus! God!


- May I use your phone?

- Yes.

Give up now. That is the only door.

There is no other way out, my friend.

Tell them anybody gets near this place,

I'm gonna blow it up.

If I don't hear from the guy

in charge in 15 minutes...

...I'll send your thumb out

through the night depository.

And, thanks...

...for calling me friend.

This is Princeton. You have

less than 15 minutes to call in.

Do not come near the bank.

He is covered in dynamite.

Hot dogs! Hot dogs!

Give me sound down.

Chief, apparently we've got 12 people

in there. One guy, heavily armed.

Bank security got this picture.

This is our perpetrator.

- The hostage negotiator's on his way, sir.

- Tell him he won't be needed.

- Till when, sir?

- Till I'm no longer chief.

To my beloved wife Carol,

I leave the house in Westchester...

...and the apartment on 78th Street.

The stock portfolio will be divided equally

among our children.

David, you can have the Giants tickets.

Don't do this.

It'll be okay.

He said...

...he'd carve up the troublemakers first.

Why don't you shut the hell up!



Give me a break.


- Mom?

- This is Rotzinger.

Who are you? Where's Mom?

Chief of police.

Get your butt out of there now.

You know, I was in 'Nam

with a jerk like you.

Oh, boy.

What's your name, son?

What shall I call you?


...I always liked the name Chip.

Would you call me Chip?


What was that shooting just now, Chip?

Oh, wait! Call me Skip.

Okay, Skip. What was that shooting?

Well, the cameras.

I shot the cameras.

They were looking at me.

Quit looking at me!

My God. He's barking.

Skip, we can be inside, on top of you,

in a heartbeat.

Try to run, you won't get 5 feet.

Yeah. Well, you tell your men

just one bullet could hit some dynamite...

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Howard Franklin

Howard Franklin is an American screenwriter and film director, known for such films as The Name of the Rose and Quick Change, his collaboration with Bill Murray. His other films include The Public Eye, about a 1940s tabloid photographer modeled on the photojournalist Weegee and starring Joe Pesci; Someone to Watch Over Me and The Man Who Knew Too Little. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Quick Change" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 2 Oct. 2022. <https://www.scripts.com/script/quick_change_16456>.

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