Querida voy a comprar cigarrillos y vuelvo

Synopsis: The film takes places in different time periods and countries. It narrates the story of a common man, who after entering into a deal with a strange character with superpowers, has the possibility of going back to his own past and to live again his youth. Ernesto, the main character, will try to recover lost opportunities and to curb certain behaviors in order to change his gray and insipid present. Despite having the advantage of knowing all the necessary information about the future, experience will show him that this flat personality and his resentment can go beyond these benefits and that there is no possible excuse to overcome his infinite mediocrity.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
80 min

Morocco, Mogador.

Hundreds of years ago.

Look at the goats

who have climbed on the trees.

The Director went mad and

got them up there with a winch?


This is for real,

in Morocco these animals

climb on trees to eat fruits.

There, reality and fantasy

aren't separated.

Anything impossible might

happen in Morocco.

Also in Buenos Aires.

Take a look at that guy over there

in the red djeilaba.


travels from Morocco to Spain

and from Spain to Morocco,

buying and selling.

Do you like bread?

Soon you'll eat something

tastier and juicer.

As a cannibal from New Guinea

might say,

"You don't know anything when

it comes to the best meat.

To eat a simple, crude cow, one

might just become a vegetarian. "

Our guy leaves the village,

ignorant to the fact that something

is about to yank him from

his daily routine forever.

Honestly, he'll still follow routines,

but in a very different way.

Sailors call it

"the dead calm".

They get nervous

when the sea is too quiet.

Honestly, one should seek refuge

in a basement,

wait till it passes.

Just in case!

The chances to get struck

by lightning are one-in-a-million.

Unfortunately lightnings don't know

crap about statistics.

According to Gauss,

who was a wise man.

A lightning never strikes

the same place twice.

But as I previously hinted,

destiny doesn't care about Gauss

and his certainties.

The first lightning killed him,

that's right.

But, surprise!

The second lightning

revived him.

Naturally, after a miracle of this magnitude

you don't remain the same person.

The man knows

that he's different now

and as time passes

he confirms that.

He doesn't grow old and he has

powers worthy of a small god,

or, if you prefer,

worthy of a small demon.

The fact is that our guy

is now immortal.

He can travel through time

and make a lot of small miracles

which don't add a single thing

to the universe.

Nothing good, at least,

immortality makes him oblivious

to transcendent matters.

With his powers he could

have been a king, or an emperor.

Yet he'll prefer

to stay anonymous.

This way he can move freely

and do anything he wants.

To have fun!

I'm Alberto Laiseca.

This movie is based

on a story I wrote,

Darling, I'm going out for cigarettes

and I'll be right back.

The story which we'll show is

supposed to be a work of fiction.

But it isn't.

There was never a difference

between fiction and reality.

Because this is a magical world

and one can't imagine

something that doesn't exist.

When the USSR collapsed,

as a friend of mine would say,

there was much rejoicing.

Evil has died!

But people don't know that

evil never dies. It changes places.

Present day, 2011.

Do you know this beautiful place?


Buenos Aires, Argentina.

The world's ass.

Do you know why flies are such

a pain in the ass in Olavarra?

It's because they

get bored too.

This is Ernesto.

A genius prankster.

Lazy turtle!

"If I were granted

with opportunities... "

You'll get more than your fair

amount of chances, douchebag.

Well, we know this one already.

He doesn't need an introduction.

I love Argentina.

Mate, assholes,

and sirloin steak.



Thirty plus a hundred twenty,

three hundred fifty,

minus seventy that I owe you,

two hundred eighty, but divided by two...

Or better. A garlic and radish salad.

Then we both eat, we're cooked.

Yesterday we finished at 2am,

I want to leave.

What I wouldn't give for...

Ravioli with sauce,

or a Neapolitan Milanese.

Otherwise, something grilled.

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"Querida voy a comprar cigarrillos y vuelvo" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 30 Mar. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/querida_voy_a_comprar_cigarrillos_y_vuelvo_16452>.

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