Pup Star: World Tour

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1

Everything was so simple

Started out in the Big Apple

Now I'm all over the globe

And we're just flying high

No matter the destination

Have fun, it's a celebration

Everybody raise your paws to the sky!

Want to howl at the moon in Mexico

Shake your tail to the rhythm of India

Listen to the melodies of China

Want to bang on the drums

Of Africa, yeah

I see stars all around the world

Feels like home everywhere I go

I hear music everywhere

And there's one thing that I know

We're one pack, one voice, one world

And we're singing in harmony

One pack, one voice, one world

And we're singing in harmony

Want to howl at the moon in Mexico

Shake your tail to the rhythm of India

Listen to the melodies of China

Want to bang on the drums

Of Africa, yeah

I see stars all around the world

Feels like home everywhere I go

I hear music everywhere

And there's one thing that I know

We're one pack, one voice, one world

And we're singing in harmony

One pack, one voice, one world

And we're singing in harmony

[audience cheering]

You heard it here first.

Pup Star is going on world tour!

It is my absolute pleasure

to introduce our newest judge:

the one, the only Tiny!

Tiny, welcome back.

Oh, my goodness.

It's so great to be back, Jimmy.

Tell us,

how did this whole judge thing come about?

Did you ask them? Did they ask?

Did you take someone hostage?

- What happened here?

- You know, Jimmy,

there are so many amazing pups

around the world who deserve this chance.

I realized that even though

I loved being your Pup Star champion,

I was ready to help other dogs

fulfill their dreams.

She is quite a pup, huh?

What's next, Bark's back?

[laughs]

[gate buzzes]

Our rehabilitation engineers

work around the clock

to turn wayward dogs into model citizens.

Canine Correctional Magazine voted us

two paws, making us number one

in penal cuisine nationwide.

And here we play sad movie clips

to awaken their emotional synapses.

Get! I don't want you anymore!

Don't believe him, Air Bud.

It's a ruse.

My ball therapy program reduces

inmate stress through exercise.

Now, I must warn you.

This prisoner may be

the single most evil dog

in the history of the world, ever.

His name...

is Bark.

You probably recognize him

from TV's Pup Star.

Now, this is the newest

behavior modification device.

It's used only

on the most hard-core cases.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Who's the cutest

and most talented Pup Star of all time?

[growls]

Who is it?

[electricity buzzing,

then groaning]

Tiny. It's Tiny.

She's amazing. Everyone loves her.

The results speak for themselves,

Bark is almost completely reformed.

Very interesting, warden,

but let's cut to the chase.

Where has the rest

of the taxpayers' money gone?

Anyhoo. Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm very busy. I have dogs to save.

- Butch.

- Right this way, folks.

Thank you.

[Butch] This facility was based

on a paw print by Frank Lloyd Bite.

All clear! Show's over.

[dogs chattering indistinctly]

Sorry, Bark.

I had to convince them it was real.

- I think they bought it.

- Get this off.

Here. Okay, there you go.

Now you put it on.

- There.

- The remote. Hand it over.

Fine.

[groaning]

[Bark cackles]

You're right,

this new therapy is fantastic.

Now turn on the TV.

This is the year to be on Pup Star.

We all know you're leaving tomorrow

on a four-month tour,

so we thought a special send-off

was in order. What do think?

Oh, here comes another

of your hilarious pranks, Jimmy.

[yawning]

Well, Simon,

get ready to eat that yawn.

The Jimmy Kibble Show went on tour,

and we started back

[in British accent] in your beloved home

of Merry Olde England.

Hello, lad. What's the good word?

Gramps. What are you doing here,

you old scoundrel?

Wanted to pop in and wish

me number one grandson bon voyage.

You mind your P's and Q's, lad.

I will, Gramps. I promise.

Promise. Wish I could bring you with me.

Me, travel? Ho-ho.

Not blooming likely. I'll be at the pub

watching the Pup Star World Tour

on the telly with me mates.

Love you, nipper.

Now I see where you get

your sunny disposition, Simon.

From the isle of Britain

[in Jamaican accent]

to the isle of Jamaica, mon.

[in normal voice]

Let's keep this tour going!

- Pops.

- Dad.

Papa.

Buyaka! Diggy, Rollin and Gnarly Jr.

It's good to see my litter is behaving.

We want a champion.

Me gonna try, pups,

me gonna try real hard.

- Are you going to Egypt?

- Yeah, mon. All around the world.

[in unison] So cool!

Bring us a pyramid!

Bring us a pyramid! Bring us a...

Oh, wowzer!

They're just a bundle of energy,

aren't they?

So, now let's head on over

to Lady Paw Paw's home

[in Jersey accent] of New Jersey.

Is it on?

[gasps]

Am I on?

Mama, we see you, we hear you.

Oh, my goodness. How do I look?

You look pretty, Mama.

I hear you're gonna be a jet-setter

around the globe.

But be sure to take your Pupto-Bismol.

You know you get gassy on planes.

OMD. Mom, we're on national TV.

International, heh, actually.

Oh, so, now I'm embarrassing you.

I carry you for nearly 68 days,

and this is the thanks I get?

- Again with the guilt trip.

- You know you're still my...

Tiny, I hear a number of your family

are here in our studio audience?

Yes, Jimmy. They're right over there.

By my girl Lou, there's my dad Steven,

my nanny Ida, and Shep, my manager.

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