Puerto Ricans in Paris

Synopsis: Two Puerto Rican NYPD detectives head to Paris to track down a stolen handbag.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Ian Edelman
Production: Focus World
  1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
82 min

Honey, I'm so excited for this.

I've been waiting all day.

Thank you for

getting us here safely.

God bless.

Honey, stay close.

No more street meat. We have

dinner in two hours at Benihana.

I do not want you

spoiling your appetite.

- I want a hot dog.

- Gucci. Rolex.

Excellent. Sir, you wouldn't happen

to have any Louis Vuitton, would you?

Where are you guys from?

Waco, Texas.

I love Texas. Dallas Cowboys, right?

America's favorite team.

Yeah. The cowboys are at the

ranch looking for Louis.

All right. I'll see you

in a minute. Bye.

Right this way. Come on.


Hey, hey.

And for you, special VIP

entrance, yeah?

Come on.

Yeah. See? Right here.

Rhonda. Ronnie.

Hello. Looking for the Louis

Vuitton handbag, right?

Like this? Go.

Yes. We would love to buy

a bunch of these

as giveaways for our

various church fund-raisers.


How much is bunch?

Well, let's see. There's the bingo

tournament and then the bowling league.

-Talent show.

-Talent show.

-The father/daughter picnic.

-Mother/daughter brunch.

The Veteran Days committee.

-The Animal Right Group fund-raiser.

-So, anyway, 20 bags?

Twenty bags?

Very expensive.

But for you,

I'll do a good deal.

200 per bag. Done. Go.

So how late are y'all open?

My friend Marlene says you got to

look around to get the best deal.

Lady, lady, best deal.

First-class bag. Original.

But you go to church.

I... I love Jesus.

175 per bag.

Praise Lord Jesus,

it is a deal!


-Can we see the bags?

-The bag, yeah. Go.

You see, computers, you know, they can

get hacked. Locks. They get picked.

But nothing gets past

Black Mamba.

He is a nasty bitch.

Like Kobe Bryant.

I don't really

follow politics.


Let's go to the warehouse.

What about rims?

You guys need rims?

Can I ask you a question? Really, I don't

mean to offend you by this, but listen to me.

-This bag, it's real, right?

-Does it look real to you?


Then there's your answer.

Okay, but, can-can... Excuse me?

Can you hold this a second?

See, I gotta ask you

this though.

Why is it that

the cross-stitching on here

is not consistent with

the LVMH designer code?

No, no, no. You're not trying

to sell us a fake, right?

- Because you know that's a felony, Hassan.

- Right.

And you know

what that means?



Bag man is on the move.

Bag man is on the move!

All units, suspect heading north

on Crosby and he's going fast.

Annoyingly fast.

God! God!

I'm gonna sue you!

I need a lawyer!


The proceeds go to funding

illegal manufacturing of drugs,

human trafficking

and terrorism.

It's no exaggeration when I

say that our work here today

is gonna make our

country safer... tomorrow.

So you're saying

you're a hero.

You said that,

not me.

So, Detective, you've gotta

watch those tackles.

Your ass is too old

to be Superfly Snuka.

You spent less time

blabbing to the cameras,

more time on the treadmill, I

wouldn't have to tackle anyone.

Then you'd literally

be good for nothing.

- Besides, I would've caught the guy eventually.

- When, next week?

I'm the brains of the operation. I

don't run. You're the muscle, you run.

When do I get to be the brains? -I'll

text you when there's an opening.

Great work. What do you

say we go to Finnerty's?

Do a couple shots of Ciroc. Maybe I'll let

you both reggae grind me. What? What?


I got some plans tonight.


I'm taking the dental hygienist

to the Bruno Mars concert. MSG.

Yeah, I got front row.

I got front row of the upper deck.

But I got good binoculars.

We ever gonna meet this one? -No!

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Puerto Ricans in Paris" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 23 Feb. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/puerto_ricans_in_paris_16354>.

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