Psycho Brother In-Law



- But why do I have to leave?

- I promised my brother

we'd go fishing.

You know how it is.

- Yeah, I'm starting

to get the hint.

- Come on, Eric!

Ditch the girl and let's go!

- Sorry, little brother.

- Any time, Eric!

- My lady?

You're amazing.

But, sadly, I must go.


- You better call me later.

- I knew it!

- Whoa, whoa!

Who are you?

- Her boyfriend!

- Boyfriend?

- You're dead!

[ girl screams ]

- Mike, please stop!

Mike! Stop!

You're gonna kill him!

Mike, stop!

Help! Somebody help!

- Hey!

- Well, who's the little dude?

- David, get outta here!

- Get away from my brother!

- Okay, tough guy.

Just don't hurt me.

This ain't over!

You're still dead.

- David, no!

Stop! Stop!

No! No!

What did you do?

David, what did you do, man?

- Hey, I'm making

a grocery list.

What sounds better?

Salmon or Tri-tip?

- Yes, yep.

No, I'll get

that over to you ASAP.

I'm on my way.

Coming in early,

leaving late... again.


Don't worry about me, babe.

Just get whatever you want.

- You could always take it

for lunch tomorrow.

- Yes. No.

We'll discuss that in

the meeting as well.

Okay, see you soon.

It's gonna be a

late one, babe.

- Okay.

I can always just work

on my memoir.

"Life of a Tech Widow".

- The price of success, huh?

I'm sorry.

It's just I got

a lot on my mind

with this meeting

with the bank.

- Shh!

Hey, breathe.

You've got this.

[ sighs ]

- Look, I promise it's not gonna

be like this forever.

- I know.

And I want to promise

you something.

If you make me go through

all this loneliness and struggle

and then dump me

and our daughter

for some 19-year-old model

the second you get rich,

you will find us on an

episode of "My Crazy Ex".

[ laughs ]

[ phone rings ]

- Oh.

Hon, I gotta go.

- We still on for

date night tomorrow?

Or am I spending another

evening alone

with Channing Tatum

and his thong?

- I will be there come

thong or high water.

- Hey, speaking

of high water...

- Oh, yes!

The washer.

- Yeah.

- I'm on it.

Sorry, I'm running late.

Hopefully, that daughter

of ours is ready to roll.

- If it's too much,

I can drive her.

- No, it's my

one contribution.

- Bye, Mr. CEO.

- Bye, Mrs. Tatum.


We got to go!

[ dialing phone ]

[ phone rings ]

- You've reached Eric Campbell.

I'm not available

at the moment.

Please leave a message.

- Hey, don't forget

to ask Floyd about

that repairman

he recommended.

We've got to get

this washer fixed.

It's starting to smell

pretty ripe down here.

[ phone beeping ]

Anyway, good luck today.

And I'll...

I'll figure it out. Bye.

Hey, Liz.

- Ready for wine?

- It's like 10:

in the morning.

- It's 10:
30 a.m. somewhere.

- That is not how

time zones work.

- Anyway, I called

to let you know

we're short on volunteers

for the fundraiser

and the Creole

food vendor is out.

- What?

- Yeah.

And this mathletes coach

is being very agro

about the whole thing.

- I'm on my way.

- So, wine later?

- God, I hope so.

[ school bell rings ]

- Hey!

'Sup, nerd?

- The sky, dork.

Thought I told you to stop

sneaking up on me like that.

- I like to watch

you bend over.

Or I can bend over and

help you grab the books

that I made you drop.


Also, I think

I saw your mom here?

- Perhaps for PTA stuff.

- Ah, still trying to get you

into that math competition.

- Why? Are you jealous

'cause my mom loves me?

[ scoffs ]

- No.

It's just every afternoon,

you're playing

with those numbers when

you could be playing with me.

That's all I get?

- Sorry.

I'm gonna be late for class.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Psycho Brother In-Law" STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 21 Oct. 2019. <>.

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