Private Parts Page #4

What's it about?

Well, I'm glad

you asked me that.

In my, um, psychology class,

we're studying B.F. Skinner,

and I started to realize that

what Skinner says is true...

We're all rats

trapped in a box,

all searching

for a piece of cheese.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm going to shoot it

on Saturday.

I mean, I can't do it

Saturday.

I work with an outpatient program

for schizophrenics.

One of them actually

killed himself,

so I'm taking

the whole group to...

to the funeral

on Saturday, but...

Sorry.

You are really perfect.

L... All right.

What if I reschedule?

Beautiful. Beautiful.

I don't believe it.

Howard:
Look, I refused

to leave the room

until she agreed

to be in my film.

I feel stupid.

Seriously, she was the most

enchanting woman I'd ever met.

I'm telling you, I am looking

for the face of an angel.

You have

the face of an angel.

[Ghostly Groaning]

Howard's Voice:
Save me.

Save me.

He comes to me.

He comes to me.

Ahh...

Save me.

[Applause]

We give the award

for best student film

to... Mr. Howard Stern.

I'll tell you,

nothing makes a woman hotter

than to be with

an award-winning filmmaker.

This I know.

And at this point,

I knew I was gonna score.

I mean,

it was fait accompli.

I was in. This was it.

I'm a stud.

She was liquefied.

We did not have sex

on our first date,

although

he was very sexual.

Our sex life

has always been good.

I mean, Howard complains

that his penis is too small,

but his penis size is fine.

Howard exaggerates.

[Shivering]

- OK.

- Now hold this and say...

Hi.

Hi, I'm Camille,

and, uh, I'm in Westchester,

New York, and...

This is Howard's

first job interview.

And this is Howard's

first job interview.

Well, he's going to his first

job interview in New York.

- All right...

- [Shivering]

- One more thing.

- Yes?

Can you

take your top off?

- No.

- No, I'm serious.

I'm serious. That's what

they want you to do.

- No, they do not.

- Yeah, they do.

- No way.

- No, they do.

Howard did not

tell me...

[Aerosmith's

Sweet Emotion Plays]

I'm Moti,

station manager.

- Howard Stern.

- You want to be a disc jockey?

Very much so.

I've wanted to be a disc jockey

since I was

7 years old.

What are you,

an idiot?

No, sir,

I'm not an idiot.

L... ln fact, I have a communications

degree from Boston University,

and I would work very hard

for this company

if given

the opportunity to...

You wanted

to see me?

You came late yesterday.

You came late today.

I don't need you. You're fired.

F*** you.

Good. F*** you.

You punk!

F*** you 1,000%% %!

F*** you

till your a**hole

is perfect

donkey a**hole!

[Muttering

In Foreign Language]

OK,

you start tomorrow.

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