Private Number
Attention please!
I have an announcement to make that
concerns you all.
Mrs. Winfield is returning from
Europe today.
As you all know, that means I shall expect
even greater efficiency from the staff.
Any one of you who shows a lack of
respect.. or discipline..
.. in the performance of duty,
shall be instantly dismissed.
Fix your tie.
Er, yes sir.
It might be better if you'd spend less time
trying to make an impression on the maids.
And more time putting a polish
on your boots.
Is that a button loose on your tunic?
No sir.
Go an sew it on! At once.
Yes, sir.
Straighten your cap.
And your hair is most untidy.
Anything else?
For that remark, your wages will be docked.
If there are any humorous comments to
be made around here, I shall make them.
Go and straighten your hair.
Well.
You're certainly a splendid
addition to the staff.
Look at your boots. Have you ever tried
pressing your trousers?
And what's this?
Oh.
Apparently, you think you can
eat your soup and have it too.
It's only my kindness of heart.
That keeps a man on here
after he's outlived his usefulness.
That's all. Dismissed.
Ha!
Now that you've finished your
"German Army" inspection.
Maybe I could have these girls
shell a few peas.
Are you addressing yourself to me?
I ain't addressing nobody else.
It's trouble enough trying to get dinner
Without you covering up my kitchen with
your maneuvers
Why don't hire a parade-ground and
get a band?
Mrs. Frisbey, I warn you.
And I warn you:
keep out of my kitchen!Oh dear, oh dear. This breakage will
cost you something.
Let me see. Six large..
There's something else I'm going to break
around here, and it might be your neck.
Four small plates, four saucers
and two cups.
[bird noises]
Shut up.
[door buzzer]
Looking for somebody?
Yes, I heard there was a job open as
a housemaid.
Oh, I'm afraid you're too late honey,
all the places have been filled.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry. I came as quickly as I could.
You see, I had to walk from the end
of the car line.
Walk?
Yeah.
Why, that's a three-mile hike.
Why didn't you take the bus
from the car-line?
I uh... I didn't have the bus-fare.
Oh.. well come on in.
Say, any dame that had walked that far
deserves a medal or something.
Here.. sit down.
Oh thanks.
Oh.. gee I'm tired.
So am I.
Say, it's no cinch around here..
.. doing upstairs work and taking
Mrs. Winfield's pet poodle for an airing.
Besides being chamber-maid to the
silly parrot and three canaries.
I wish His Nibs would put you on
just to help me.
His Nibs?
Oh that's Wroxton, the butler. He does
all the hiring and firing around here.
Oh, you know I really need a job.
I haven't a cent.
Gosh, that's tough.
Say, wait a minute. I'll see what I can do.
Hello, hello, hello. Who have we here?
Hello.
You don't mean to tell me you're
going to work here?
Oh, I hope so.
Well I hope so too. You know the maids
around here are not much to look at.
How many maids are there?
Five. Not counting madam's personal maids.
How long have you been here?
Oh, about a year.
It's a nice place too. That is, if you
can get along with His Nibs.
Is he very difficult?
Oh, you won't have any trouble.
Not with your looks.
Okay kid, I think I've got it all
fixed for you.
Oh you're awfully nice to do this.
Oh skip it.
Now remember one thing. In a house
like this, the butler thinks he's a king.
Treat him like one.
Alright.
Good luck.
Close the door.
Sit down.
You're quite young, aren't you?
Yes.
That's really no disadvantage.
Have you any references?
Yes.
I see you come from Pleasant Town.
Yes.
How long have you been in New York?
About.. two weeks.
"Reverend H. J. Trumbleigh. "
Did you work for him?
Oh no. He was the pastor at our
church back home.
Now, what's this?
"Pleasant Town Business College"?
shorthand and typing.
Ha, ha.
Do you mean you've never been in service?
No.. but I'm very good at housework.
Really I am.
I employ only experienced help.
Oh.
But in your case, I.. well I suppose
I could make an exception.
You seem bright. Going to start you
off as an upstairs maid.
Your wages are seventy-five
dollars a month.
But you will be paid sixty.
You understand?
I allow one evening a week off,
You.. you mean I'm hired?
I'll give you a month's trial.
Thank you.
Oh one thing more.
As long as you are in this house..
.. you will be responsible only to me.
Is that clear?
Yes sir.
And if you make yourself "adaptable"..
.. we shall get along quite well I think.
Thank you.
Hey! Hey, wait a minute! How'd you make out?
Alright. But I couldn't work here.
That butler... ooh, he gives me the creeps.
Hey, now wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Well look, really I appreciate
you're trying but..
.. oh I can't.
Oh now relax. Let me tip you off.
If you're going if for this sort of work, there's
a lot of things you'll have to put up with.
But I don't like that man.
Who does! Why his own mother
wouldn't speak to him.
But don't worry, he won't bother you.
I'll run interference for you.
Now, what do you say?
Oh.
You're awfully nice to do all this for me.
Oh, just a girl-scout at heart.
By the way, what are your wages?
Why that's something I didn't understand.
He said they'd pay me seventy-five
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"Private Number" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 20 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/private_number_16272>.
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