Private Number

Attention please!

I have an announcement to make that

concerns you all.

Mrs. Winfield is returning from

Europe today.

As you all know, that means I shall expect

even greater efficiency from the staff.

Any one of you who shows a lack of

respect.. or discipline..

.. in the performance of duty,

shall be instantly dismissed.

Fix your tie.

Er, yes sir.

It might be better if you'd spend less time

trying to make an impression on the maids.

And more time putting a polish

on your boots.

Is that a button loose on your tunic?

No sir.

Go an sew it on! At once.

Yes, sir.

Straighten your cap.

Your apron needs pressing.

And your hair is most untidy.

Anything else?

For that remark, your wages will be docked.

If there are any humorous comments to

be made around here, I shall make them.

Go and straighten your hair.

Well.

You're certainly a splendid

addition to the staff.

Look at your boots. Have you ever tried

pressing your trousers?

And what's this?

Oh.

Apparently, you think you can

eat your soup and have it too.

It's only my kindness of heart.

That keeps a man on here

after he's outlived his usefulness.

That's all. Dismissed.

Ha!

Now that you've finished your

"German Army" inspection.

Maybe I could have these girls

shell a few peas.

Are you addressing yourself to me?

I ain't addressing nobody else.

It's trouble enough trying to get dinner

for sixteen people tonight.

Without you covering up my kitchen with

your maneuvers

Why don't hire a parade-ground and

get a band?

Mrs. Frisbey, I warn you.

And I warn you:
keep out of my kitchen!

Oh dear, oh dear. This breakage will

cost you something.

Let me see. Six large..

There's something else I'm going to break

around here, and it might be your neck.

Four small plates, four saucers

and two cups.

[bird noises]

Shut up.

[door buzzer]

Looking for somebody?

Yes, I heard there was a job open as

a housemaid.

Oh, I'm afraid you're too late honey,

all the places have been filled.

Oh.

Oh, I'm sorry. I came as quickly as I could.

You see, I had to walk from the end

of the car line.

Walk?

Yeah.

Why, that's a three-mile hike.

Why didn't you take the bus

from the car-line?

I uh... I didn't have the bus-fare.

Oh.. well come on in.

Say, any dame that had walked that far

deserves a medal or something.

Here.. sit down.

Oh thanks.

Oh.. gee I'm tired.

So am I.

Say, it's no cinch around here..

.. doing upstairs work and taking

Mrs. Winfield's pet poodle for an airing.

Besides being chamber-maid to the

silly parrot and three canaries.

I wish His Nibs would put you on

just to help me.

His Nibs?

Oh that's Wroxton, the butler. He does

all the hiring and firing around here.

Oh, you know I really need a job.

I haven't a cent.

Gosh, that's tough.

Say, wait a minute. I'll see what I can do.

Hello, hello, hello. Who have we here?

Hello.

You don't mean to tell me you're

going to work here?

Oh, I hope so.

Well I hope so too. You know the maids

around here are not much to look at.

How many maids are there?

Five. Not counting madam's personal maids.

How long have you been here?

Oh, about a year.

It's a nice place too. That is, if you

can get along with His Nibs.

Is he very difficult?

Oh, you won't have any trouble.

Not with your looks.

Okay kid, I think I've got it all

fixed for you.

Oh you're awfully nice to do this.

Oh skip it.

Now remember one thing. In a house

like this, the butler thinks he's a king.

Treat him like one.

Alright.

Good luck.

Close the door.

Sit down.

You're quite young, aren't you?

Yes.

That's really no disadvantage.

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