Private Benjamin Page #4

in locating Private Benjamin.

Sir.

- Are we at the fort?

- Yes we are.

Time to wake up now.

In a sec.

Get your ass up

and out on the company street!

I never!

Give me 10 pushups!

Knock them out!

You mind if I check into

my room first?

Assume the position and hit it!

Now!

Up! Down!

What is this, hell week?

No, Benjamin...

...this is the Army!

Excuse me, sir, is green

the only color these come in?

Close it up back there,

you meatheads. Go!

Pick it up! Pick it up!

Close it up!

Close up that field back there!

Come on, move it!

Where are the yachts?

- Excuse me, are you a reporter?

- Who, me?

No.

I joined up, but I'm not staying.

There's been a mistake.

I'll straighten it out

when the manager gets here.

Man on the floor! In front

of your cots at attention!

Barracks ready for inspection, Captain.

What's the matter, honey?

Are you a crybaby?

No, sir.

Ma'am!

I know how all you ladies

drool over this...

...this Fonzie character...

...but not in my outfit.

Burn it.

- Your name, soldier?

- Private Winter, ma'am.

Outstanding, Winter. Outstanding.

Ladies!

Examine Private Winter's locker.

Learn from it.

You keep this up and we'll talk

officer's candidate school.

Thank you, ma'am!

This brassiere isn't regulation, Ross.

And neither is this face.

And you look like a clown, soldier.

Clean up your act.

Gianelli's a 308, ma'am.

So it was the Army or jail?

After 6 weeks with me,

you're going to wish you chose Attica.

Don't push me, punk.

This is the most pathetic group

of trainees I have ever laid my eyes on.

My companies are the best-trained...

...the best-disciplined

soldiers on this base.

I hate to interrupt you,

but could I speak to you for a sec?

My Lord! Sergeant,

would you look at this!

I've seen it, ma'am.

What's your name, Princess?

Judy.

Judy Benjamin.

I think they sent me to the wrong...

...place.

You see, I did join the Army,

but I joined a different Army.

I joined the one with the condos

and the private rooms.

No, really! My recruiter,

Jim Ballard, told me that...

I don't care what your lousy recruiter

told you, Benjamin.

I'm telling you, there is no other Army.

Wait a minute.

I don't want to have to

go to your boss, okay?

To be truthful with you, I can't

sleep in a room with 20 strangers.

Oh, dear!

Look at this place.

The Army couldn't afford drapes?

I'll be up at the crack of dawn here.

And I have to tell you,

I am frankly a little shocked.

You're shocked?

Why?

This place is a sty.

Look at these stains.

God knows where this has been.

And have you seen the bathroom?

Do you think that

the latrine is unsanitary?

It's disgusting!

There are urinals in there.

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