Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Page #2

---

They say he inherited nearly a hundred thousand pounds.

What a magnificent husband he'd make.

Charlotte Lucas do you think of nothing else?

Zombies or no zombies all woman must think of marriage, Lizzy.

I shall never relinquish my sword for a ring.

For the right man you would.

The right man wouldn't ask me to.

Mr. Darcy!

Rather an imposing presence.

Owns half of Derbyshire!

Ten thousand pounds a year at least.

Welcome dear friend!

How are you?

How do you do?

I'm very well, how's this gentry rubbish?

Fine.

So this is merry?

She's the most beautiful creature I ever beheld.

She smiles too much.

She shows her age.

Charles Bingley, pleased to make your acquaintance.

Mrs. Bennet.

We've heard so much about you Mr. Bingley.

My daughters.

All of impeccable character.

May I introduce my friend, Mr. Darcy of Derbyshire.

Are you enjoying hutch Mr. Bingley?

Very much.

I've heard the library at Netherfield is one of the finest.

Library? Is it?

Ms. Bennet may I be so bold as

to request the next two dances.

If you're not otherwise engaged.

I'm not engaged.

Good for you Mr. Bingley, you chose

the loveliest of my daughters.

Mother!

What?

I consider dancing to be the first refinement of

polished society, don't you agree Mr. Darcy?

Now every savage can dance.

Why I imagine even the zombies could do it with some degree of success.

Thank you.

Please don't forget our next dance Ms. Bennet.

Darcy...

I hate to see you just standing there you must dance.

Oh you know I detest it when I'm not acquainted with my partner.

- Oh, well.

- Darcy.

You'll dance with the only handsome girl here.

Every one of her sisters is also very pretty dare I say.

Very agreeable.

Well she's tolerable but-

Tolerable?

Yes, tolerable. But not handsome enough tempt me.

Nor any other man here apparently.

Darcy, your standards my dear fellow-

Oh, that is unfortunate.

Mr. Darcy.

You insufferable prick.

It's William Darcy.

I quite detest the man.

So high and so conceited I can't enjoy him.

Indeed.

Wouldn't dance with him if he-

Mrs. Featherstone?

You're undead!

Shh..

I've come to tell you someth-

What happened, Lizzy?

I narrowly saved her life.

From Mrs. Featherstone?

From an undead Mrs. Featherstone.

I found her to be exceedingly tolerable.

Well done, Darcy.

Very heroic.

She was trying to tell me something.

A recipe perhaps?

Laugh as much as you choose.

But you shall not laugh me out of my opinion.

She posed no threat.

We're under attack!

Their faces!

Rendered uncommonly intelligent

by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes.

And I'm forced to acknowledge

her figure as both light and pleasing.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote