Pottersville Page #3

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big, huge, hairy thing

comes running by, screaming.

We were like, "Hey,

how stoned are you?"

And then we realized we all saw

it, and we were like... "cool."

I was upstairs dozing off

when I heard her scream.

I heard this ruckus in the

backyard and looked out the window

and I saw this...

thing, chasing a bunny.

I come running down the stairs,

turned on the back porch

lights and there it was.

We saw it. Squatch.

You've lived here your

entire life, correct?

Yes, ma'am, I have.

Have you ever seen

anything like this before?

No, ma'am. Like the kid said,

it was a big, hairy thing.

Sort of half man, half gorilla.

You know, like them cavemen you

see in the picture books...

that ain't quite evolved yet.

And all that chasing the bunny

must have made him pretty thirsty,

'cause he was out there in our

little boy peeing fountain drinking.

I mean, literally, the little boy

was peeing right in his mouth.

Then what happened?

Then he just disappeared

into the darkness.

- There you have it, John.

- Can you believe that?

- A pretty incredible story.

- Yeah, that's something.

Bigfoot, right here,

in our own backyard.

I might have to come up there to try

and catch a glimpse of him myself.

That sucks.

You should!

I'll be right back.

Is everything...?

Sir, I'm sorry. Can

you pick up, please?

Is he here?

We have a bit of an emergency

going on right now, Maynard.

Trust me, he's gonna

want to hear about this.

All right. Go ahead.

Ma'am, can you

repeat that, please?

Sure. Absolutely.

Yeah, well, we could either do it here in

my office, or go out to Phoebe's Knob.

Four o'clock. Thank you.

I was gonna talk to

you, man, I promise,

but things are nuts

around here this morning.

Yeah.

Maynard, I'm not having

an affair with Connie.

It's just about the club.

I mean, hell, that could've been anybody

from the club up in your bedroom.

Thanks. I feel a lot better now.

There's nothing romantic.

I'd never do that.

It's just about the costumes.

Speaking of costumes...

Sheriff, sorry to interrupt,

but there's a producer from some

television show on the phone for you.

Thanks, Tammy. Look, I've

gotta take this. But...

We're okay, right?

Hey, I'm never gonna rub the bunny again.

I promise.

- I gotta show you something.

- I gotta take this.

Everybody's apeshit over

this Bigfoot business.

Later, okay? We'll

talk later, all right?

Hello. Yeah, this

is Sheriff Clark.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

Hi, how are you?

Good to hear your voice as well.

Well, let's see. Maybe we

can make something work...

Just the man we

were looking for.

We were wondering if you

could do us a favor.

Now, we've been researching this whole

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