Post Grad

Hey! It's me again.

This is a very special day.

This is day 756...

of my college experience...

otherwise known as... graduation day!

Whoo! Ah!

Wait for it.

I got the whole outfit. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Hmm.

I have been planning

for this day for my entire life.

- Um, when I was a kid, I devised

this plan... -

that I cleverly called "The Plan."

Uh, " Dad can't make it to graduation today.

Big shocker.

Can I join you guys for lunch?"

Absolutely.

This is great, because nobody

runs parental interference quite like Adam.

We've been best friends since freshman year.

# This is Ryden's study song #

# I worked on it so damn long #

# It's to give encouragement #

# For your big test today #

Anyway, the plan is pretty straightforward.

One, kick ass in high school...

so that I can get...

two... a fatty scholarship.

Three, limit my beer pong enough...

to keep said scholarship,

which I did, and...

Oh.

Hi, Ryden. Jessica Bard here.

Just wanted to clean the slate.

I'm sorry I nabbed valedictorian...

but you have to believe

I will do an excellent job.

Jessica Bard... my own personal Darth Vader

since the third grade.

Back to the master plan.

Number four. Most importantly...

land a sweet job at the finest

publishing house in all of L. A...

Happerman & Browning,

where I will no doubt...

discover the next great American novel.

All right.

So that's the plan. This is it.

Malby signing off, about to embark on

the first day of the rest of my life.

And, hey,

if you're at graduation, come say hi.

I'll be the one in black. Bye!

# You stumble down a yellow brick road #

# Spinning your shoes in the air#

# The air#

# Then you hold your breath

and count to nine #

# Hoping that soon

somebody will find you #

# Find you #

# Go on, go on, go on #

# The stars are watching #

# Just say, just say, just say #

# What you're feeling #

# You know, you know, you know #

# You gotta take a bow

and do it your way #

# It's okay-ay #

# La-dada, da-dada, da-dada #

# It's okay-ay #

- # La-dada, da-dada, da-dada ##

- Please welcome your class valedictorian...

Jessica Bard, with

tonight's keynote address.

All right, Jessica!

Rock on, Jessie!

Class of 2009, it is my great honor...

to welcome you to this evening's

graduation ceremony.

I stand before you with two age-old words:

Carpe diem.

When we walk out these doors...

I challenge each of us

to not only seize the day...

but to clutch it with both hands.

- You go first.

- To squeeze it...

- Shh!

- with all your strength.

And drain every last...

- living, breathing...

- Could you move down a little?

victorious moment out of it.

Like when a Trojan decides...

...to plunge his blade into the beating

heart ofhis enemy. -

He realizes it's not for

his own personal glory.

- He does it for the better good of the

community as a whole. -

- We must remember that our

generation is smarter... -

...stronger and better equipped than those that

came before us. - Ma'am! Could you keep it down?

- And now...

- I'm dying.

it is our responsibility...

to forge ahead and stake

our rightful claim at the top.

- You know what? This calls for a toast.

- Mm-hmm.

- What do you say, huh? Glasses up.

- Hear, hear. Yes.

- To Ryden.

- To Ryden.

- To Ryden.

- Who I'm very proud of.

Mmm. And to Adam.

The A-Man, who's here because we like him.

He's also here because

his dad was too busy to come...

and, uh, his mom couldn't

come because, um...

'cause she's dead and...

- Hear, hear.

- Cheers.

- Yeah.

- To your dead mother.

- Hmm. Cheers.

- Cheers.

Anyway, honey, now that you're

out there looking for a job...

maybe you, uh, you know,

come down and work with me.

Uh, she's already got something lined up.

Tell 'em about the big interview.

At Happerman & Browning, Monday at 10:00.

- Wow!

- Hey!

And my thesis adviser is best friends

with the chief editor...

and has already put in

a good word and everything.

And they are building

these loft apartments...

like a block away from the offices, so...

They have these sweeping city views.

I could walk to work.

Didn't I tell you?

What do you see over there?

What do you see right here on this wall?

Uh, white paint.

- Bookshelves!

- Oh.

All my babies,

floor to ceiling, organized by title.

- No, by author. No, by genre.

- Okay. Settle down.

It's amazing. I'll take it.

- Really?

- Really?

Yes! I can feel it.

It's everything I ever imagined.

Hello? I love it.

Here. I've already filled

out the application.

All right then. I'll need a check

for first and last month's rent...

plus security deposit, so $3,500.

Done and done.

Uh... Hey, don't you think...

you're getting a little ahead

of yourself there, killer?

No. No, I don't. I will

have enough money soon.

Okay, well, right here you wrote

"Happerman & Browning" under "employer"...

but you're not actually an employee of them.

In a couple of hours,

that will be true too, so...

Maybe.

Here you go.

Thank you so much.

I'm hoping to

start moving my stuff in on Saturday.

Just as soon as I call your references.

And your check clears.

# Wake up, wake up

wake the sun #

# Wake up, wake up

hanging like...##

Are we okay? Do we have enough time?

Don't worry. We got plenty of time.

Hey, what's up with Columbia?

Did you hear back yet?

Uh, big envelope, so...

I don't know. I guess I got in.

Wait. Adam.

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