Poolhall Junkies Page #4

He's playing Moose, for Christ's sake.

Concentrate on your own game.

- You've told me that since I was 15.

- I can't help it. This guy's tough.

He's a pro.

You didn't say anything about that.

This guy's a pro? What's his name?

I don't know. He's a new guy on the circuit,

for Christ's sake.

- I don't know. I haven't played in a while.

- If you're short on the money, I'll back you.

- It's not about the money- -

- I know it is not about the money...

but you can't go on playing bums

all your life.

Sooner or later, if you're any kind of man,

you got to step up...

step out, and see what the f*** you got.

All right, somebody hand me a cue.

- You wanna play some?

- Maybe something cheap. I'm just learning.

- $1,000 sound about right?

- Fine.

- Did you see that last shot?

- Unbelievable!

- You see the look on that f***er's face?

- F***ing dog.

We gotta go to Mel's.

Waitress there has the sickest tits

I've ever seen.

- Jesus Christ, when did this happen?

- Weather's been crazy lately.

How often have I said,

"Stay out of the pool room"?

- A thousand?

- Exactly. So how come you don't listen?

It makes no sense. Every day

you say, "Stay out of the pool room. "

But I come and win $200 or $300.

It's easy money.

- Enough!

- Coming to Mel's?

You guys are retarded. I'm not going.

- Let's go.

- Seriously, don't smoke.

If I catch you with him smoking,

I'll take your bar mitzvah money.

- Thanks, Mom.

- He wouldn't do that, would he?

All right, Mom, get in the f***ing car.

Did you guys know

that the average penis size is 6.4 inches...

and that the average vaginal canal

is 7.9 inches?

Therefore, in this country alone...

there's over 17,000 miles...

of unused virgin p*ssy out there.

- Come on.

- What the f*** is the matter with you?

- This sh*t is true.

- Did you do the math on that?

- I did.

- You have too much free time.

Where do you get this sh*t?

- It's common knowledge.

- Hey, Danny.

- You still playing The Goat, Friday night?

- Yes, you girls are coming, right?

The guy who signed Stevie Ray Vaughan

is coming down to see my ass.

Sorry, I gotta work Friday night,

and it's Lanie's last night of training.

What is this, the Olympics?

Come on, take the night off.

I'll train her myself.

This is the universal sign for "check. "

I need this.

If Sinatra made it big by paying off girls

to scream and faint when he sang...

I got to have a couple of hot girls

throwing their panties on stage at my gig.

- We'll see.

- I love you. Mean it.

- Are you kidding me?

- Man, that chick has got body karate.

Do you think her tits are real?

I hate chicks with fake tits.

Are you kidding me? Fake tits are

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