Poker Night Page #4

I would be dead and un-un-under

the ground if it wasn't for...

Get the f*** out of here

with this sympathetic bullshit.

Crying in your beer.

Somebody want to get

this f***ing guy a dress?

You don't say thank you to me.

You do better.

You come onto the scene

ready for action.

You pay attention.

You learn.

And the next time

you help out the new guy.

You save his life.

That's all the thanks I need.

Hey, boys, get this.

This drunk f***

wants to buy us all a round.

Hey!

Go figure.

So, nurse!

- Here we go.

- How did I get so lucky?

Five card draw. Straight up.

Oh, wait, wait. Wait a minute.

- Ah, here it comes.

- Jesus Christ.

Oh, my God.

You gotta be kidding.

We haven't even started yet and

you're asking a question? Hey, hey.

That is not how this works.

We ask the questions, we do the talking,

you do the listening.

Okay, but I'm serious.

I have a question. Just one. Oh, my God.

Jesus Christ, ask the f***ing question before

our pensions run out, for Christ's sake.

What if I win?

Listen. Ten years of playing poker night,

rookie's never won, never will.

Okay, but if I do.

Say I get that, that one great hand.

What then?

Hey, look here.

If you win, all bets are off.

All right?

You tell the stories and we start learning.

And we'd be pretty bad cheaters

if we're dealing you good cards.

All right.

First lesson.

I wasn't looking at your card.

I saw you peeking.

It's an easy one.

It's about perspective.

We deal with three percent of

the population 97% of the time.

And now everyone in the world

is not a lowlife, lying,

backstabbing, ass-covering

son of a b*tch.

But. But it's mostly who we

deal with on a daily basis.

And they all think

they're smarter than you.

So here's your lesson.

- They're not.

- Except for the ones who actually are.

We never catch those bastards.

We just pretend they don't exist.

But sometimes they do exist.

The monsters

from your nightmares.

They're real,

and you can't wake up.

There you are.

So tell me, Detective.

How old are you?

Twenty-five?

Twenty-six?

Take a little from column A

to fix column B.

Am I right?

I don't know what you're talking about.

I can make us a deal. Okay?

I-I-I got connections.

A deal?

Yeah.

Okay.

I was just like you once.

Just a normal guy

with a normal life...

who went to a normal job

day after day after day.

I was a forecaster, Stan.

Predicting behavior

and regulating change.

Just another one of the

worker bees buzzing around.

I just never seemed

to make ends meet.

I got to the point where I just

couldn't take it anymore, Stan.

I wasn't going to be just

another one of those sheeple...

marching to the beat

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