Planes, Trains and Automobiles Page #3
- Year:
- 1987
- 1,137 Views
tolerant person.
You've bugged me
since New York,
starting with
stealing my cab.
God, you're a tight-ass.
How would you like
a mouthful of teeth?
Oh, and hostile, too.
Nice personality combination...
hostile and intolerant.
That's borderline criminal.
Screw you.
You spilled beer
all over the bed,
you mess up
the bathroom...
Who let you stay?
I even let you pay,
so you wouldn't feel
like an intruder.
An intruder?
Right. You ruined a nice trip.
Who talked my ear off
on the plane?
Who was that?
I'm curious.
Who told you to book a room?
I did.
You're an ungrateful jackass.
Sleep in the lobby.
I hope you wake up so stiff
you can't even move.
You got a free cab,
a free room,
and someone
who will listen
to your boring stories.
Didn't you notice on the plane
when you started talking,
I started reading
the vomit bag?
Didn't that
give you some clue
that this guy's
not enjoying it?
Everything's not an anecdote.
You have to discriminate.
You choose things
that are funny
or mildly amusing
or interesting.
You're a miracle.
Your stories
have none of that.
They're not even
amusing accidentally.
Honey, meet Del Griffith.
He's got some
amusing anecdotes.
Here's a gun so you can
blow your brains out.
You'll thank me for it.
I could tolerate
any insurance seminar.
For days,
I could listen to them go on and on.
They'd say,
"How can you stand it?"
And I'd say,
"'Cause I've been with Del Griffith.
I can take anything. "
You know what they'd say?
"I know what you mean.
The shower curtain
ring guy. "
It's like going on a date
There should be
a string on your chest
that I pull out.
Except I wouldn't
pull it out, you would.
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
By the way,
when you're telling
these little stories,
here's a good idea.
Have a point.
It makes it more interesting
for the listener.
You want to hurt me?
Go ahead if it
makes you feel better.
I'm an easy target.
Yeah, you're right.
I talk too much.
I also listen too much.
I could be a cold-hearted
cynic like you,
but I don't like to
hurt people's feelings.
Well, you think
what you want about me.
I'm not changing.
I like... I like me.
My wife likes me.
My customers like me.
'Cause I'm the real article.
What you see
is what you get.
Del.
Hmm? Yeah.
Why did you kiss my ear?
Why are you holding my hand?
Where's your other hand?
Between two pillows.
Those aren't pillows!
Aah!
Oh, no!
Ooh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
See that Bears' game
last week?
Hell of a game.
They're going all the way.
Ohh, yeow.
Neal, take my socks
out of the sink
if you're going
to brush your teeth.
Where are you?
I'm in Wichita.
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Planes, Trains and Automobiles" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 2 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/planes,_trains_and_automobiles_15957>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In