Person to Person Page #5

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I'd never do anything

to hurt her.

Lester:
Ray, you put naked

pictures of Janet

on the Internet.

Yeah, you hurt her.

You hurt her bad, and, now,

she can't leave the house

because she's so afraid.

Because of you, some very gross

and disturbing people

are looking at naked

pictures of my sister

- on the Internet.

- I was in a very bad

emotional place last week,

actin' like a crazy person.

I shouldn't have did that.

Lester:
Well, you did.

How can we fix the problem?

First thing you do is let

me beat the sh*t out of you.

Okay.

Lester:
Where are you?

Um, I'm at the library.

Bullshit.

What are you reading?

Ray:
"Hunt for red October."

Bullshit.

Who wrote it?

Ray?

Must say there

on the front cover.

That's normally where

the name of the author is.

Sometimes in big letters.

This copy doesn't have a cover.

Lester:
Okay.

First thing that needs to happen

is I'm gonna come to your place

and I'm gonna break your legs.

I deserve that.

But I'm at the library.

Lester:
Go home.

I'll see you in an hour.

Come on, baby.

Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh! Yo!

You saw that.

- I was tying my shoe.

- It hit the rim

and then it hit the tree,

yo, and it went in!

Tying my shoe.

Wendy:
I understand

the insatiable urge

to procreate

with your boyfriend.

If I had one, I'd hightail

it over there, too.

Yeah, but he thinks that you

hate him because,

when I go and hang out

with him, you won't come.

Because I don't like watching

other people make out

in front of me.

Big deal.

And also for the fact that

you just don't like him,

as a person.

I'm through

explaining my opinion

on the merits

of your relationship.

If the relationship

were as strong

and meaningful

as you insist it is

by continually bringing up

conversations such as this one,

I highly doubt you'd care,

one way or another,

what I think of him.

Okay, well, the problem

is, is that

you say that it's okay for me

to go and hang out with him,

when I know

it's gonna hurt your

feelings when I do.

If you felt comfortable

around him,

we would all hang out

and we would all be happy!

Except the one person who is

the person not making out,

watching the other

two people make out.

We won't make out.

That is a straight-faced lie

and scientifically,

physically, impossible.

Melanie:
Okay, fine.

So maybe you don't

like him as a person,

but I wish you could like him,

if only for the fact that

he's important to me.

No, I detest people

who like other people

for reasons like that.

It's gross.

It causes stupid problems.

You detest everybody.

Not everybody.

Almost everybody.

I detest anybody

who's unintelligent

and ignorant of the

suffering of the world.

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