Person to Person Page #3

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Wendy:
I'm not hungry.

Melanie:
We have beer.

Okay.

Scott.

Melanie:

He has a beautiful penis.

- Impossible.

- Melanie:
Possible.

Very possible.

So possible, it's actually true.

The very basic look

and shape of the penis

dictates that they are

all, fundamentally,

every single one of them,

by nature, ugly.

Okay, I happen to like them,

and I happen to like

Scott's the best.

I mean, it's like

big and straight

- and soft and excited.

- Ew, no, you like it

because you like Scott,

but I don't care

if his penis looks like

a unicorn horn.

It's not a good-looking penis

because a good-looking

penis does not exist.

Vaginas are the ugly ones.

Wendy:

I agree that they're ugly,

but penises are uglier,

due to their inability

to be anything

other than ambitious.

Structurally, they're built

as weapons of penetration.

They're swords,

they're battering rams.

- Penis.

- God!

Now I'm gonna have...

I'm gonna have major

dick nightmares.

- Thanks a lot.

- All right, fine.

Is that better?

Is that vagina better?

- No.

- God, they had so much hair

in the '60s and '70s.

I mean...

God, look.

That is so much hair!

There's nothing wrong with that.

Melanie:
No, definitely not.

I mean, it's like a lot of hair.

That's actual jungles

up in there.

- Look at that.

- Can we like stop talking

about d*cks and Vaginas?

Yeah.

"Bird blows the blues."

Let me see what

kind of shape it's in.

Yeah, you're the only one

I'm calling.

If I say I won't sell it

to anybody else, Mickey...

Charlie Parker, of course.

I already told ya

I won't sell it to anybody else.

I'll pay you off.

All of it, I promise.

I got cash comin' for you today.

- Ray:
Hello?

- Hey, ray.

- You off the couch yet?

- Yeah.

What are you doing?

Um...

Walking across the room.

Benny:
Take a shower

and leave the house.

And don't forget

to clean the refrigerator.

Okay.

Okay. See you later.

- Woman:
Hey.

- Hey, there.

Woman:
Hi.

- Hey, I was thinking.

- Yo.

Let me take you out tonight.

I got money coming in.

- You available?

- Uh, yeah.

It's his dad's turn tonight.

I think I'm free.

All right,

we'll have some cheese.

- Mmm.

- Have some wine.

- Mmm.

- Some good food,

make a nice little spread.

Ooh. All right.

Make it real nice.

Okay. I'm all yours.

Oh, hey, this is Owen.

- Hi.

- This is Benny.

Hey.

Are you her boyfriend now?

I don't know, maybe.

Owen:
Do you love her?

Benny:
I can't tell you that.

You seem like the kind of kid

that would spread

that information.

I think she loves you.

Whoa.

Did she tell you that?

I mean, first, I wanted

to make it with somebody

who had been with Sinatra.

I mean, let's face it,

he's Sinatra.

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