Peaches Page #4

Hey, mate!

Come around.

- AI. Late night, mate?

- Yeah.

Bit of extracurricular studying.

This? You want to take this?

I'm conducting a survey

on behalf of the union, you know.

Late shift arrivals and departures,

that sort of thing.

- Oh, right. You want a beer?

- Yeah, why not?

Help yourself, mate.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

[Jass and Jude singing The Carnival Is Over]

JASS:
I told the Harper Valley PTA at work...

that Johnny's descended from some prince

or sultan or something.

[Screaming excitedly]

But it's not true.

His father traveled...

fell in love in Indonesia,

and took her home to Vietnam.

JOHNNY:
It's from my uncle.

He write that my father's sick

in a re-education camp.

He hope that they will release him,

but he's not sure.

JASS:
When his dad was taken...

they smuggled Johnny out on a boat

to the Philippines.

He had some US dollars and no one.

JOHNNY:
Ten year.

ALAN:
Jesus.

JUDE:
Where are your brothers and sisters?

JOHNNY:
I don't know.

JASS:
It occurred to me, and to Jude

and Alan, as it later turned out...

that we could make him a new family.

I reckon we should get out of here.

Take this thing and head out north.

- How far north?

- Not that far north, Johnny.

Queensland.

We could deck it out like a caravan,

and we could put a fridge in it, an oven...

run a chimney up through the top.

There was an old woman

that lived in a peach.

Who lost both her tits

on the way to Swan Reach.

- Well, it's not all that funny.

- It'd be fun.

I mean,

do you really want to hang around here...

stinking of peach juice your whole life

because your old man did?

Or 'cause some knob in a suit

was big enough to class you as a reffo?

Up there, they've got nude beaches.

JUDE:
I don't know.

I don't know where you'd be without me,

all of you.

Clueless, the lot of you.

You got no bloody drive.

What sort of drive have you got in mind?

- We can get it out.

- You're a weird kid.

Shouldn't you be out taking drugs

or having sex or something?

JASS:
Johnny's not like us at all.

He wasn't raised to be a sh*t kicker

in a cannery.

He wanted to be a professor of literature.

[Both chanting]

He was falling for a girl who can't spell "cat."

In any language.

Mo.

- "Miaow"?

- Yeah, mo.

It mean, cat.

"Jude beat me, the b*tch. It took her a while.

"Why are men such slow starters?"

She said the most he'd do

was stick his hand down her bra.

And it happened

in the peach store, apparently.

She reckoned Kenny was serenading

on his clarinet from the store next door.

So she found him in there on his own...

and she just stripped right off.

And he said...

I can hear this.

[Stammering] "You seem to be making

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