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The situation on the

ground is ongoing

while the entire disputed area remains

closed to news organizations.

As last night's report of a

series of large explosions

awaits official confirmation, widespread

fear of a biological weapons launch

continues to spread

throughout the region.

Justine, what are you

seeing in the capital?

The Foreign Ministry remains

shuttered for a second day

as evidence mounts that the

insurgents may have used

at least some part of their long-rumored

biological weapons stockpile

in the course of last

night's incursion.

Have you been able to get any

word yet on the government's response?

Well, it's hard to find any officials

here at all in the capital, Mark.

But those who are willing

to speak off the record

confirm the regime's plan for a massive

retaliation in the next five to seven days.

Well, while we are trying

to restore that image,

ITL News has just obtained amateur

video footage purporting to show

casualties from last night's

exchange of missile fire.

A warning... this footage contains images

that may be disturbing to some viewers.

Obtained from a junior military officer

fleeing the site of last night's clashes,

it seems to belie assurances

from both sides of the conflict

- that no chemical or biological weapons...

- Damn it.

Have been deployed.

Such images are horrifying enough, but

there's an even more horrific scenario

if the contagion spreads beyond the

region, potentially infecting tens...

if not hundreds of thousands.

- They're saying...

- Look, I'm...

if you want, I'm just gonna

go to the guitar shop.

The pickup fried out, so...

They can't just keep

fighting, right?

We are now going

live to a press conference

at the Centers for Disease Control.

As of 8:
00 a.m. Eastern Standard

Time, the CDC has not measured

any airborne contaminants

beyond a 100-mile radius

of last night's advance

in the Middle East.

What this... what this means is the

continental United States has not

and will not be affected by the

reported use of these pathogens.

Steven, the

situation in the larger cities

near the epicenter of the conflict remains

tense as persistent rumors of mass deaths

in scores of towns and

villages gain credibility.

At least three regional governments

have begun issuing gas masks...

Rumors abound in the capital

as the prime minister and his

cabinet depart the city...

This is simply a precaution

in order for us to maintain

government function...

Meanwhile,

a veritable exodus of refugees

continues to stream

across regional borders,

desperately seeking safety from a threat that

remains, perhaps intentionally, undefined.

In Washington, the

president has issued a statement

urging calm and affirming that no

known pathogen poses any threat...

The trade winds

are spreading the pathogen

well beyond the conflict's borders,

confirming officials' worst

fears about the airborne virus.

Reports of mass casualties as far north as

Italy and Portugal are pending confirmation.

What we're

apparently seeing here is a virus,

or a complex of viruses, killing

some almost immediately,

while leaving others fully mobile.

However, within hours, nobody in

the affected area remains alive.

Stay tuned, please, for further

developments on this breaking news story.

That pickup's all right.

But when I move around...

it doesn't have that punch

and it's just fading out a lot.

- Don't worry...

- All right, so...

Okay, cool. Thanks, man.

He says it's gonna

be, like, an hour.

There's something...

- I am so hungry.

- Oh.

I don't even know why

we're fighting this thing.

- It was the f***ing dishes.

- Yes!

You guys have maids, you know?

So it's not like you see a

dirty dish and you're like,

"Hey, here's a dirty dish. I've

got to do something about it.

I'm gonna wash this dirty dish."

- You're...

- What are you... I mean...

You're totally fixated on this.

It's not the dish. I'm not even

talking about the dish anymore.

It's a metaphor.

- Yeah, it's a metaphor...

- I know what you're gonna say.

- No, you don't.

- The dish is a metaphor

for my anxiety about

how different we are.

What?

- You did know.

- Well, of course I knew.

- So, f*** it.

- Just wash the dish.

Just metaphor the metaphor.

Just address my anxieties

with dishwashing liquid.

We'd miss this if we ever lost it.

We'd be like, "I wish

we could go back

to when the worst thing we had

to worry about was the dishes."

Hey.

Hey.

Oh, my God. You guys,

congratulations!

Let me see. Oh, my God.

That is so adorable.

So what's going on with

this sh*t in the news?

- Honestly, I'm not watching it.

- Don't know, right?

- Nothing's changed.

- I am going to go to the bathroom.

Oh.

Ahem.

Although state

and county authorities

have been almost unanimous in

urging residents to remain calm,

a spreading, seemingly spontaneous

exodus along the Eastern Seaboard

has caused state highway

patrol officials

to shut down six major northbound

arteries, piecing together...

Traffic's insane out there.

Did you guys eat my food?

I got you this.

Anna, why have you been

so freaked out lately?

So, what, I'm not allowed to talk

to any girl I've ever slept with?

Are you gonna go crazy? Is that it?

No, it's the exact opposite.

I think you should talk to

all the people you want to...

any girl you've ever met,

whenever they call,

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