Paint Your Wagon Page #5

# Maria

# Maria

# Blow my love

# To

# Me #

Look at the women!

Look! Two women!

Look at the two women!

There's five women!

I wanna get one of them gals!

Women! Women!

Hey, there's 64 women coming into town!

Hey, men, 80 women

coming down the river!

Lady, I, uh...

got $50 here in gold dust.

You can have it all if you, uh...

let me hold the baby.

Very well.

No, I don't want your money for it.

You'll hurt his feelings,

Sarah. Take it.

Look at them eyes,

glowing like he just hit pay dirt.

He's a girl, you bummer!

Would anyone else

care to hold the baby?

Not now, Jacob.

Just where are you people from?

Illinois, originally.

I'm Jacob Woodling.

This is my wife Sarah.

And who might

this fine young lady be?

Her name is Elizabeth Woodling.

-Your sister?

-No. My wife.

Your wife?

I thought that one was your wife.

-They both are.

-Holy Moses! They're Mormons!

-Du lieber himmel!

-Nice work, old man!

Can we get something

to eat over there?

With $50, you can, sir.

Uh, follow me.

What the hell is a Mormons?

Aah!

Hey, bridegroom,

I don't give a damn how a man prays.

There's room in hell for all of us,

but it just ain't equitable, man,

for you to be having two of

something all of us got none of.

Yeah! Yeah!

So I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

Your mule's lame,

and I got a beauty that cost me $140.

I'll swap you straight...

my mule for one of your wives.

Now... which one's baby's mother?

God knows I wouldn't want

to separate mother and child.

I am.

Good. I fancied t'other one, I did.

-This is immoral.

-I hope so!

-The woman's married.

-No, she's not!

We don't recognise plural marriage

in California.

Then I bid $250 in gold for her.

-260!

-265!

Wait! You can't buy

a woman for money.

Try and get one without it.

All right, what about it, Mormons?

Jacob, we need every penny,

and I can't bear another day

of those martyred looks.

There it is again.

This ain't a martyred look, Sarah.

This look is pure...

hatred.

Quiet!

Brigham Young has 27 wives,

and he hasn't had half the trouble

with them I've had had with you two.

Then simplify your life, Jacob.

Sell me.

But, Elizabeth,

you don't know what you'll get.

I know what I've had.

-Go ahead, Jacob.

-Gentlemen...

out here...

I ain't a Mormon.

Now, Elizabeth

is a headstrong woman,

especially since

her own baby died two weeks ago,

but she's given

her consent to be sold.

Therefore, if any of you

want to bid for her, so be it.

But...

let's go outside...

where there's room for more people.

Ooh! But these religious dogs

are bloody greedy!

Ah, come on! Come on!

You wait here and feed the baby.

It's not proper,

you standing on a block.

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