Pain & Gain Page #3

The Bahamas

don't exactly sweat your paperwork

and the IRS can't touch it.

You have any money here in the States?

(LAUGHS) Of course!

My offshore stuff is just

a rainy day fund, margarita money.

You should meet my accountant,

he's a friggin' miracle man.

Maybe I will.

Oh, you're a Maybe Guy!

(SIGHS) I misjudged.

I had you figured for

a Definitely Guy, Damien.

Sorry. Lugo. Lugo.

DANIEL:
Victor had a point.

I mean, he was an a**hole,

but he had a point.

Michael Corleone didn't

become the Godfather by folding towels.

He did it by keeping a gun behind

the toilet and knowing what he wants.

And I know it might sound strange,

I just want a big fat lawn

that I can mow until the sun goes down.

That baby's 20% off!

Well, if I believe I deserve it,

the universe will serve it, right?

What, you never heard that before?

No, jackass.

Yeah, that's why

you're working at Sears, bro!

Easy, fella, or I'll kick your ass.

What is that? Is that a bug?

There's a bug! Do you read English?

Yeah? Puta? B*tch? Right?

Between the "B" and the "I."

You migrant workers suck!

DANIEL:
When I was young,

there was a rich kid

lived two blocks over.

Little prick had a new bike

every Christmas.

VICTOR:
Your asses are looking great!

And his parents took him on vacations

to places like Paris and France.

I mean, I didn't hate him.

I just thought it'd be cool to see France.

But I knew that

wasn't ever going to happen

unless I did something about it.

- Let's go, set...

-(CLANGING)

F***!

Yo, what's going on, DL?

You've been unfocused all day, man.

You ever just get tired

of being where you are, Adrian?

No. I kind of like it here.

I mean, the weights are new...

I mean in life, man!

Where you are in life.

I mean, look at us, man.

We're like Superman.

(GRUNTING) I mean, come on!

Don't you think we deserve better?

'Cause I do.

(SNAPPING)

Hey. Yo.

ADRIAN:
Man, I do, too.

DANIEL:
Then f***ing act like it, man!

Come on!

That's why when these 'roids kick into

this chocolate mass, baby,

I'ma be unstoppable!

I ain't making no more tacos!

I ain't cleaning up after nobody tacos!

I'm putting my beef in their tacos, baby!

Everybody gonna eat some of this!

That's what I'm talking about.

I was like you.

You work hard.

You do what you're told.

And what does life serve you?

A shame sandwich

with a side order of sh*t!

You deserve better!

Every person in America

is either a do-er, or a don't-er.

A do-er or a don't-er.

And if I can get you

to learn one thing today,

one take-home point,

it would be this.

Don't be a don't-er.

Do be a do-er.

I had a wife, two beautiful daughters.

A perfect partner.

Thank God I left her!

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