Out to Sea

Synopsis: Care-free Charlie cons his widower brother-in-law Herb into an expenses-paid luxury cruise in search of rich, lonely ladies. The catch is that they are required to be dance hosts! With a tyrannical cruise director, and the luscious Liz and lovely Vivian, our heroes have lots of mis-adventures before they finally return to port.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Martha Coolidge
Production: Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment
Rotten Tomatoes:
106 min

Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.

Hare Krishna.

Hare Krishna.

Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.

Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.

Just a quarter mile left,

Hare Krishna is still clear.

- Turning for home, Hare Krishna the one to catch.

- Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.

Hare Krishna!

Come on!

- Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.

- Hare Krishna's getting weary.

Keep it together.

Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.

- A three-way photo finish coming up to

the wire. - Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.

Hare... No!

And a heartbreaking loss for Hare Krishna.!

Give me a 1-5-6,

a 1-5-7 and give me...

Give me a break, will you?

You can't bet every horse in the race.

- It's cheating.

The horses are inside the gate.

- We're gonna get shut out here.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Got a sure winner. Ten dollars

across the board on number two.

At 70 to 1? Charlie!

Where's the money?

If I had the money,

would I be betting long shots?

Please, Edie, cover for me

this one time.

- The flag is up.

- Okay, Charlie. You're down.

- Thank you, sweetheart.

I love you very much.

Away they go.!

Pretty good start for all.

The only one slow is High Button Shoes,

and High Button Shoes is last early on.

Swinging onto the back stretch, and it's

Last Chance and Coates Tail setting the pace.

Now High Button Shoes

does begin to pick it up.

High Button Shoes nowjoins the pack

as they swing onto the back stretch.

- It's still Punjab and Out of Time the leaders.

- High Button Shoes.

Coates Tail is racing on the outside

curve, and then Last Chance.

High Button Shoes.

High Button Shoes.

High Button Shoes

picks up good ground.

- High Button Shoes coming into contention.

- High Button Shoes!

High Button Shoes.!

High Button Shoes.!

Come on, you schmuck!


You got it, kid.!

You got it.!

That's the way to do it.!

High Button Shoes.!

High Button Shoes.!

- You got it, baby!

- High Button Shoes has won.!

High Button Shoes,

a major upset.

- I love you.

- Love you too.

See you later, sweetheart.

Hi. How you doin'?

Looks like you're having a big day, huh?

Mickey, my favorite bookie.

How's business?

I'll tell you, Charlie.

I'm in a tough racket, you know?

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Well, I gotta see somebo...

Sometimes I get

this terrible feeling...

like people are trying

to avoid me.

Yeah? Gee, that's too bad.

- Maybe you should see someone about that.

- I am seeing someone.

- Who?

- Where's my money, Charlie?

Money? Come on.

I'm broke, Mickey.

You'd be the first to know

when I get money.

Oh, my goodness.

Where did this come from? L...

I tell you what. I'll give you $500,

and we call it even.

I'll tell you what.

I'll take a grand,

and you still owe me three grand.

Three thousand.

Always and forever, kiddo.

Did you come

to borrow money?

Let me just say...

Why do you assume the only reason

I come here is to borrow money?

Because every time you come here,

you borrow money.

Herbie, I'm gonna tell you something

you're not gonna believe.

- I never believe anything that you tell me.

- Ho, ho, ho.

- Very funny.

- No. It's very sad.

Not as sad as a man having dinner

with a photograph.

Hey, come on. I'm celebrating.

It's my 45th wedding anniversary.

Very touching...

except today

isn't your anniversary.

- Look, Suzie was my wife.

- Yes, I realize that.

- I should know my own...

- And she was my sister. I was your best man.

- March 15, 1952.

- Yes. Correct.

Except today is the 16th.

- What? That's impossible.

- Why? That's the way it works.

First you get the 15th,

then right after that is the 16th.

And then later on

comes the 17 th. Here.

Take a look at the date.


God, I've blown

my own anniversary.

Sorry, kiddo.


What the hell?

Hey, if you need clothes...

the Salvation Army's

over on Fourth Street.

- These will be perfect.

- Huh? Perfect for what?

Listen, will you

do me a favor?

I worked in a department store

for half of my life.

If you don't buy something,

you put it back.


happy anniversary.

- That was yesterday.

- Go ahead, open it.

"Mexico and the Yucatn.

"Witness the spectacle

of a rare solar eclipse...

from the foot of the Mayan pyramids. "

This is a cruise.

That's right.

Deluxe accommodations.

All right,

where'd you get these?

Do you remember a guy named No-Neck?

They finally busted him.

He gave me the tickets

in lieu of the cash he owed me.

Now, wait a minute.

Somebody owed you money?

How dumb

do you think I am?

What are you gonna do? Stay cooped up

in this mausoleum you call home?

- You're still alive. Hasn't anybody told you?

- Look who's talkin'.

You're damn right,

look who's talking!

- Don't you get tired of being alone?

- No. The answer's no.

- Herbie, there's gonna be gourmet food, free drinks,

- No. No.

A bevy of pretty broads.

- Sure, because you're looking for a meaningful relationship.

- Why not?

- You've never had one in your whole life.

- I got news for you.

My whole life isn't over yet, which is

why I suggest we get on that ship...

and sip champagne

with some lonely, rich broads.

Who knows? We may get lucky

during the eclipse.

Charlie, hear me.

The answer is no.

Hold it.! Hold it.!

Coming through.!

Two customers.

Made it just in time, huh?

Herbie, come this way.

- It's the wrong section.

- It looks like our seats.

Yeah, those are

first-class seats.

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Robert Nelson Jacobs

Robert Nelson Jacobs (born 1954) is an American screenwriter. In 2000, he received an Academy Award nomination for best adapted screenplay for Chocolat. In 2014, Jacobs was elected president of the Writers Guild Foundation, a non-profit organization devoted to promoting and preserving the craft of writing for the screen. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Out to Sea" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 17 Jun 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/out_to_sea_15431>.

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