Ordinary Decent Criminal

Synopsis: Michael Lynch is Dublin's most notorious criminal, his brazen robberies making him the bane of the Gardaí and a hero to his fellow working class city Northsiders. When not playing happy families with his two wives - sisters Christine and Lisa - and his children, Lynch is busy plotting elaborate heists, thinking as much about the showmanship of it all as he is the loot involved. On his case is Garda Noel Quigley, his determination to convict Lynch slowly turning into an obsession. Inevitably, a showdown looms.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Thaddeus O'Sullivan
Production: Miramax
 
IMDB:
6.4
Rotten Tomatoes:
14%
R
Year:
2000
93 min
Website
9 Views

Morning.

Lovely morning.

- Not bad

Banks never on time, are they?

No, no, they're desperate.

Desperate.

Desperate altogether.

Try another branch.

Morning.

Like to make a withdrawal, please.

Harrison will defend

the bail application,

maybe even take the trial.

But he insists on

two thousand pounds in cash.

For a morning's work?

Up front.

As in now, before we go in.

I see, he doesn't trust me.

Here he is now,

Michael, he's worth it.

Morning.

- Morning

It's nearly time.

Are we in funds?

Huh?

Oh, the cash.

Just been to the bank.

No... not here, Mr. Lynch.

And you will be taking that off

in court, won't you?

The prosecution's claim that

they fear my client

might leave this country

while on bail,

is completely and totally

without foundation.

Especially when Mr. Lynch's

lovely little daughter, Breda

is having her

first Holy Communion soon

and it would be tragic

if her father were not

to be with her on that day.

So, Your Honour,

the State can find no course

in law or in justice

why this clean-living unassuming --

teetotaler should have

his bail rescinded.

Mr. Lynch may remain on bail

until his trial commences

two weeks on Monday.

Mr. Lynch, how does it feel to be

the most wanted man in Ireland?

Do you think

you'll get a fair trial?

Mr. Lynch, you enjoy making

the Gardai look thick, don't you?

Hold... a minute, lads...

don't ever think the Gardas

are thick, you'd be wrong.

It'd be a big mistake.

The Gardas are anything but thick.

In fact, I think the Gardas are

very, very clever.

Is your name Michael Patrick Lynch?

You see, right there,

an example of brains. You see?

Excuse me, I am Mr. Lynch's attorney

and I object very much...

I'm detaining you on suspicion of

possessing illegal substances,

under the Misuse of Drugs Act.

I know what you want to do.

You want to strip search me,

don't you?

Please, let go of him.

This man is my client.

Oh, I see, you think

you'll humble me, do you?

Oh, no...! Look at them!

Look at what I have to put up with!

Look at what they do

to innocent people.

Trying to grab a feel.

Trying to grab me balls, you queer.

You dirty perverts,

trying to get your rocks off.

Drugs? What drugs?

I've never done drugs in me life

and everyone knows it.

Show them your credentials, Mike.

Find the drugs.

Give us a look, get them off.

Find the drugs. Come on,

put your f*cking hand up my hole,

you poofters.

Come on.

Show 'em your credentials, Michael.

Hey, you f*cking faggots.

What are you afraid of?

You do it in private,

but not here, you f*ckers.

Do you want any more, love?

I'm grand unless there's dessert?

Of course there is.

Is that you in the newspaper da?

Oh, can I finish that?

Yeah, waste not, want not. Thanks.

Oh, God, Michael, give it to me.

Give it to me.

You know the way

all that red meat makes him hyper.

Sorry, sorry wasn't thinking.

Your father first.

Who earns the money in this house?

Da does.

They're all grand.

There's enough for everyone.

They have to learn.

you just better go to bed

when you're told tonight.

Okay, mum.

Have you got Lynch with you, lads?

Check. We have him in our sights.

Clothes on or off today?

F*ck off.

She's great.

Say hello to your da.

Go on. Found him.

Is that them, huh?

Is that the two sisters?

Oh, that's them all right, boy.

Bet he was glad he didn't have to

choose between them, huh?

Why choose

when you can have both, boy?

Mind your mothers now.

Do what they tell you.

See you tonight.

See you.

I'll call round later,

collect the kids, yeah?

Hey, Tommy, get off the bleeding

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Gerard Stembridge

Gerard "Gerry" Stembridge (b. 1958, County Limerick, Ireland) is an Irish writer, director and actor. He was educated at CBS Sexton Street in Limerick. While attending University College Dublin, he was auditor of the Literary and Historical Society. He taught English and drama at Mount Temple Comprehensive School in Clontarf. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Ordinary Decent Criminal" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 18 Sep. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/ordinary_decent_criminal_15360>.

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