One Good Turn Page #5

FIRST MAN:

This paper said it started with a case of

laryngitis.

THIRD MAN:

Well, that ham would drink anything.

FOURTH MAN:

(dealing the cards)

Eddie's no ham. You can cure a ham.

SECOND MAN:

And what a terrible deal he gave that

Eton girl.

FIRST MAN:

I should say so. She taught him everything

he knew. Nothing but a stooge piano player

till she straightened him out.

The men begin to play. The game is bridge:

FOURTH MAN:

Pass.

THIRD MAN:

One club.

FIRST MAN:

One no-trump.

THIRD MAN:

Well, just the same, boys, don't forget

to be at that benefit Sunday night.

FOURTH MAN:

Don't worry, we'll be there with bells.

SECOND MAN:

Never mind the belles. That's what put

Farrell on the bum. Two diamonds.

FADE OUT:

INSERT (to a rousing FANFARE):

A page of the program for the Sunday night benefit:

MONSTER BENEFIT:

for EDDIE FARRELL

The following guest artists

will positively appear:

JOE FRISCO:

JIM BARTON:

TRIXIE FRIGANZA:

EDDIE FOY, JR.

WALTER WINCHELL:

ANN SEYMOUR:

MARK HELLINGER:

JOE PENNER:

HELEN BRODERICK:

ROBERT L. RIPLEY

WILLIE HOWARD:

SYLVIA HOWARD:

YORK & KING

and other well-known artists [sic]

at the

WINTER GARDEN:

Broadway and 51st Street

New York City

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. WINTER GARDEN THEATER - NIGHT

A full house. The orchestra leader conducts the rousing FANFARE.

The music stops as the show's tuxedoed MASTER OF CEREMONIES walks

onstage.

THE M.C.

Ladies and gentlemen. We have waited as

long as possible. I regret very much to

announce that all the stars to appear,

none have shown up. Your money will be

refunded at the box office. However,

before you go, I wish to state that we

have with us tonight a very unexpected

guest performer. A girl none of us can

forget. Eddie Farrell's old partner, Miss

Ruth Eton.

The audience APPLAUDS.

THE M.C.

Thank you.

The M.C. turns and beckons to Ruth offstage.

THE M.C.

Oh, Ruthie?

(to the audience)

Miss Eton.

MUSIC begins, lights go down, the M.C. retreats.

Ruth, dressed in ordinary street clothes, walks to center stage,

her head down, her purse and gloves in her hand. She pauses, looks

out at the audience sadly ... and sings the verse and one refrain

of the torch song "Don't Tell Him What Happened To Me" (by B.G.

De Sylva, Lew Brown and Ray Henderson) in one long glorious take:

RUTH:

(sings)

I loved him, I lost him

He craved a thrill

I can't forget him

I love him still

It's over, all over

And yet I find

That he's always on my mind

Tell me where he is, tell me where he goes

Tell me what he does, tell me who he knows

But don't tell him what happened to me

If he says his life now is like a song

Tell him he was right, tell him I was wrong

But don't tell him what happened to me

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