On the Double Page #2
- APPROVED
- Year:
- 1961
- 92 min
- 63 Views
in the back seat
and I'll drive you out,
General.
I won't be impersonating
an officer.
That's what I mean.
I'll impersonate an officer.
Ernie,
it's dark outside.
Don't you see how you fooled
that limey captain?
wearing all that brass.
I'll make like your chauffeur.
It's a cinch.
You must be out of your mind.
You don't even know
how to drive.
The incredible just takes
just a little bit longer.
and categorically
no, no, no.
( tires screeching )
MAN 1:
Hey!( tires screeching )
MAN 2:
Who goes there?
Oh, sorry, sir.
I didn't know you were
visiting the camp, sir.
But I have strict orders, sir.
Your orders not to let anyone
Quiet, sergeant.
Um, very good.
But I've just revoked
the order,
and I am in a bit
of a rush.
Open the barrier.
There's a good man.
Sorry, sir, but you must
prove your identity.
Blasted man,
I have urgent business
at Supreme Headquarters.
I have no time to play
Tin Soldier. Never have.
Now you know who I am.
Open the barrier
or I shall have my man
drive through it!
Open.
( engine revs )
Once we get out of sight,
I'll take the wheel.
I've got to hand it to you.
Maybe it was you
who had the IQ of 185.
( tire bursts )
I guess it was mine.
Listen, you better get out
and change that tire
before they try
to come and help us.
Where do they hide the tools
in these things?
I don't even know
where they put the motor.
I can't do that.
I'm the general.
So, be democratic.
Oh, stop worrying.
They didn't even notice us.
Hey, I think I found the jack.
Heh, look.
( car horn honking )
( both nervously chattering )
Oh, what fender.
What to do?
Let me get out of here!
Lift up, so I can
put the jack under here.
( screams ):
Yeah, oh, God!
Get this thing up--
We have transport
for you, sir. Please get in.
We'll take you
to Supreme Headquarters.
I've got a better idea.
Take me to jail.
MAN:
Yes, yes. A remarkable
resemblance to the general.
But we must be
absolutely certain.
The Nazis,
I'm sorry to say, escaped.
They've slipped through
our fingers again,
up our sleeve as
a last resort.
Finally, we seem to have
stumbled on a man
who has a chance
of carrying it off.
Yes, but yeah, you've seen
the report on this fellow?
He's a hypochondriac,
a malingerer,
a confirmed grouser,
he's got flat feet--
But it made a monkey
out of the Sergeant Le Garde.
Nonsense. At night,
and for a few seconds only.
Colonel.
We're both in intelligence
and both understand
that could get us committed
to a booby hatch
There's something in that.
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"On the Double" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 4 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/on_the_double_15193>.
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