On the Avenue

Synopsis: Broadway producer satirizes an important New York family. The family sues but their daughter falls in love with producer.
Director(s): Roy Del Ruth
Production: 20th Century Fox Film Corporation
89 min

- What are you studying?

- Psychology.

- And you, dear?

- Philosophy.

Well, don't take it too seriously,

- because I know a professor of great renown.

- Yes?

# And he is the loneliest man in town


# He's as smart as a man can be

# But he never has company

# Why is he the loneliest man in town?


- # He ain't got rhythm

- Oh.

# Every night he sits in the house alone

- # Cos he ain't got rhythm

- Too bad.

# Every night he sits there and wears a frown

# He attracted some attention

# When he found the fourth dimension

# But he ain't got rhythm

so no one's with him

# The loneliest man in town

# A lonely man is he

- # Bending over his books

- He would.

# His wife and family

# Keep giving him dirty looks

# Cos he ain't got rhythm

# When they call him up,

it's to call him down

# In the month of January

# He compiles his dictionary

# But he ain't got rhythm

so no one's with him

# The loneliest man in town

# He's lonely, he's lonesome

and he's all by his own-some

# The loneliest man in town

# I know every planet up in the sky

# I've measured them all with my naked eye

# And I've seen everything up in Mars

# I know all about falling stars

# But still I'm a very unhappy guy

# I wonder why

# You ain't got rhythm

# I can read the tea leaves in my cup

# But you ain't got rhythm

# And I just found out how high is up

# But you ain't got rhythm

# I discovered once while sober

# Where the flies go in October

# For what I found out about the fly

# I got the Nobel prize

# But you can't do the Charleston

# And you don't know

how to do the Black Bottom, the new rhythm

# Heaven, I see heaven

# Through my telescope while gazing

from Mount Wilson's highest peak

# I'll explain it all in Latin or in Greek

# But you're not so hot

while dancing cheek to cheek

# I've mastered relativity

# But when they ask it's liberty

- # They never think of asking me

- # Don't you wonder why?

# Cos you don't know how to do the rumba

# That's the reason you're a lonely guy

# Ah, love

# Venus is lovely tonight

# And so is Jupiter

# Jupiter's skipping from planet to planet

# Jumping Jupiter

# But you couldn't be stupider,

cos you ain't got rhythm

# Why, I discovered liquid air

- # But you ain't got rhythm

- # And I've a cure for falling hair

- # But you can't get hot

- What?

- # No, you can't get hot

- What?

# I'm a scientist to my fingertips

# But you can't do nothing with your hips

# That's the thing we miss

- You mean this?

- Yes!

# He's got it, he's got it,

he's got it, he's got it

# The man's got rhythm

These first nights bore me.

Hello. Yes, Commodore.

Your father calling, Miss Mimi.

Yes, Father.

H- h-hello, Mimi?

Your explorer friend is late for dinner.

Where is he?

He's at the Flatbush Women's Club

lecturing on love life among the Eskimos.

Daddy dear,

I need a little pin money to go shopping.

Could you let me have about 50 or 60,000?

What did you do with the 73,000

I gave you last week?

- Oh, Daddy, if you're going to be like that.

- Shh!

Mr Sims, the famous Arctic explorer.

- Frederick, that's you.

- Me?

- Greetings, Commodore.

- Hello, commie.

Well, tell me, is everybody happy?

Where's Freda? Freda!

Two years in the Arctic and they

make me an object of ridicule!

Besides, seals never followed me.

Commodore, I want you to meet

Dr Cotzopole, who discovered the tadpole.

In this corner at 125, I want you to meet

Dr Matzopole, who discovered the maypole.

- Hi, Commodore. Hi. I'm fine.

- Wait a minute.

Gentlemen, may I present my daughter Mimi?

I have been thinking, and I have decided to

finance your next expedition to the Arctic.

- Well, that's fine. I'll go to the South Pole.

- Oh. But, darling,

the South Pole has been discovered.

Been discovered?

Well, well, then I'll rediscover it.

What will you give me

if I name a mountain after you in the north?

- One million dollars.

- Take nothing less than 100,000.

- Or be gypped, eh?

- And... and my daughter's hand.

- Swell, I'll take this one.

- Let it go, let it go.

- Commodore, how old is your daughter?

- She's 16 years old today.


- 16!

- Well, well, well.

I'd like to congratulate you, Commodore.

16. And one for a good measure.

Tell me, Commodore...

Father, let's go.

- Where's the manager?

- Standing over there, sir.

Are you the manager of this show?

Yes. I hope you enjoyed the show.

How dare you permit

such an impertinent exhibition!

Is there anything funny about my expeditions

to the Arctic or about the North Pole?

- Now, now, it's all in fun.

- Fun, indeed!

My attorneys will show you

how much fun it is!

The whole thing is an outrage.

A blasted outrage!

A man of my reputation! Three voyages to

the pole to be made an object of ridicule.

- I won't stand for it, you hear?

- I'm going to bring suit against this show.

And I shall see the mayor, the governor,

and if necessary, I shall go to Washington.

- You wish to see someone?

- Yes, I want to see Mr Blake. Mr Gary Blake.

I'm sorry, Miss, but you can't see Mr Blake

while the performance is on.

I'm Miss Caraway. Now may I see him?

I think it can be arranged, Miss Caraway.

I'll tell Mr Blake you're here.

- No, I'll go in alone. I want to surprise him.

- Oh, I see.

- Where's Mr Blake's dressing room?

- Right there where the star is.

But I wouldn't advise no further than the

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Gene Markey

Eugene Willford "Gene" Markey (December 11, 1895 – May 1, 1980) was an American author, producer, screenwriter, and highly decorated naval officer. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "On the Avenue" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/on_the_avenue_15189>.

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