Old Bill and Son

Synopsis: WWI veteran Bill is inspired to re-enlist in 1939, and ends up serving with his son.
Genre: Comedy
96 min


What do you run it on depth charges

why don't you throw that away and get a


what for being a big old pimp to me oh

that's what it's been is it yeah I don't

care if you want the uniform I know

before it was a taxi we run even I

wouldn't have mentioned it I thought it

was a concrete mixer camp ring

yes ID rot away camp George I'll duck

from OB Gardens waving to a lady like

from the start when the other blokes got

a meet Xbox a good about brother it's

short if we call his bluff you back down

and short

suppose he doesn't back down well I'll

fight the medium last time last time is

it this time oh yeah I don't think I can

win didn't what do you think bill yes

what do you think bill Corsair win Hey


Ohr sounds outside then I cost him

another couple of quid

now then that's my cab

hello that as yourself you couldn't have

come inside to ask after me else or me

in there not good enough for you I can't

blow into your sort of private cloud oh

come off it didn't want be passed here

you've got the SEC again

who's got the sake don't kid me look is

it my fault if the firm goes up the

spout if the Bank of England took you on

your sin-debt up the spout flow I would

yes your world nice kind of a son are

due out of the bag for what you expect

the horse for the grand national no no

no wrap bill don't make me sick never

stick to anything you don't look at me

be in this job foot down between here

yeah look at you now doing the vulgar


at least on the old boss you wouldn't


it makes me proud of my own boss under

me blimey don't die on you with it whose

fault is it I can't can you care by

search meeting a brewer your small

likely pretty tough always I do who is I

am and between jobs in a verdict

I really well as a matter of fact I've

got a job Oh

14 the beauty chorus very funny it's a

darn good job to managing a funfair up

north only only watch well it's a matter

of fact I'm stuck for a couple of quid

for the journey now look here

move up they'll do it for me push the

thing don't strain yourself son come on

they're fierce or cough it up

I need to do badly then you two quid not

main ever the vacuum cleaners through me

pockets off me now blimey what a Mac you

made of the name of William well suppose

I'll have to ask mum then how do you do

oh yes I do

oh no you don't just you try it what

else tonight I work I'm trying to work

but if you won't help me I've got to get

the job somehow

yeah where do you go I'm coming with you

even if it means a rearguard action with

your mother ain't none of you getting

your stuff in first all the time before

we get there yeah it in I'll Drive you

the ribs William I step on it

nag nag nag day after day at home son

you might think he done something she

was born and what do you do come to that

drive yourself round Leicester Square

morning noon and night Cortina then

blondes don't the old man you're making

this loser over it ain't what a time to

be hasn't got where he's at enough job

not enough for me run through for a

month five none of y'all so I should say

no you know the job is that first you

got to cut out this wisecracking staff

what is he air-raid shelter

where's the shelter part there's more of

it mate Oliver or did it it's the

government's are they coming here no no

no no it's a present

it's corrugated steel oh I can tell

there what do I do with it sit under it

I'll put it out the bank and third you

can stop swinging off very scared of me

to die you do know you how are you about

job - don't you take me and forth you go

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Bruce Bairnsfather

Captain (Charles) Bruce Bairnsfather (9 July 1887 – 29 September 1959) was a prominent British humorist and cartoonist. His best-known cartoon character is Old Bill. Bill and his pals Bert and Alf featured in Bairnsfather's weekly "Fragments from France" cartoons published weekly in "The Bystander" magazine during the First World War. more…

All Bruce Bairnsfather scripts | Bruce Bairnsfather Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Old Bill and Son" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 17 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/old_bill_and_son_15147>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Old Bill and Son

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

    Browse Scripts.com

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


    Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.