Odd Human (a script created by a random script generator)
- Year:
- 2020
- 1,099 Views
INT. CHINESE BUFFET - AFTERNOON
Mean Stripper MS. SARAH NICOLE is arguing with Nice Chef MS. BLAKE WETHERS. SARAH tries to hug BLAKE but she shakes her off.
SARAH:
Please Blake, don't leave me.
BLAKE:
I'm sorry Sarah, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces her fears head on, instead of running away.
SARAH:
I am such a person!
BLAKE frowns.
BLAKE:
I'm sorry, Sarah. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
BLAKE leaves.
SARAH sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, Attractive Doctor MR. WADE CHRIST barges in looking flustered.
SARAH:
Goodness, Wade! Is everything okay?
WADE:
I'm afraid not.
SARAH:
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
WADE:
It's ... a human ... I saw an evil human touch a bunch of Eldery people!
SARAH:
Defenseless Eldery people?
WADE:
Yes, defenseless Eldery people!
SARAH:
Bloomin' heck, Wade! We've got to do something.
WADE:
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
SARAH:
You can start by telling me where this happened.
WADE:
I was...
WADE fans himself and begins to wheeze.
SARAH:
Focus Wade, focus! Where did it happen?
WADE:
Creepy House! That's right - Creepy House!
SARAH springs up and begins to run.
EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
SARAH rushes along the street, followed by WADE. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
INT. CREEPY HOUSE - SHORTLY AFTER
TOI SE. an odd human terrorises two Eldery people.
SARAH, closely followed by WADE, rushes towards TOI, but suddenly stops in her tracks.
WADE:
What is is? What's the matter?
SARAH:
That's not just any old human, that's Toi Se.!
WADE:
Who's Toi Se.?
SARAH:
Who's Toi Se.? Who's Toi Se.? Only the most odd human in the universe!
WADE:
Blinkin' knickers, Sarah! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most odd human in the universe!
SARAH:
You can say that again.
WADE:
Blinkin' knickers, Sarah! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most odd human in the universe!
SARAH:
I'm going to need anything, lots of anything.
Toi turns and sees Sarah and Wade. He grins an evil grin.
TOI:
Sarah Nicole, we meet again.
WADE:
You've met?
SARAH:
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
A young SARAH is sitting in a park listening to some Death Metal music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over her.
She looks up and sees TOI. She takes off her headphones.
TOI:
Would you like some Liquorice?
SARAH's eyes light up, but then he studies TOI more closely, and looks uneasy.
SARAH:
I don't know, you look kind of odd.
TOI:
Me? No. I'm not odd. I'm the least odd human in the world.
SARAH:
Wait, you're a human?
SARAH runs away, screaming.
INT. CREEPY HOUSE - PRESENT DAY
TOI:
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
WADE:
(To SARAH) You ran away?
SARAH:
(To WADE) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
SARAH turns to TOI.
SARAH:
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
SARAH runs away.
She turns back and shouts.
SARAH:
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with anything.
TOI:
I'm not scared of you.
SARAH:
You should be.
EXT. STRIP CLUB - LATER THAT DAY
SARAH and WADE walk around searching for something.
SARAH:
I feel sure I left my anything somewhere around here.
WADE:
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly anything.
SARAH:
You know nothing Wade Christ.
WADE:
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, TOI appears, holding a pair of anything.
TOI:
Looking for something?
WADE:
Crikey, Sarah, he's got your anything.
SARAH:
Tell me something I don't already know!
WADE:
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
SARAH:
I know that already!
WADE:
I dunno.
TOI:
(Appalled) Dude!
While TOI is looking at WADE with disgust, SARAH lunges forward and grabs her deadly anything. He wields them, triumphantly.
SARAH:
Prepare to die, you odd flesh!
TOI:
No please! All I did was touch a bunch of Eldery people!
BLAKE enters, unseen by any of the others.
SARAH:
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those Eldery people were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Sarah Nicole defender of innocent Eldery people.
TOI:
Don't hurt me! Please!
SARAH:
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these anything on you right away!
TOI:
Because Sarah, I am your father.
SARAH looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects herself.
SARAH:
No you're not!
TOI:
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
TOI tries to grab the anything but SARAH dodges out of the way.
SARAH:
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, TOI slumps to the ground.
WADE:
Did he just faint?
SARAH:
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly anything.
SARAH crouches over TOI's body.
WADE:
Be careful, Sarah. It could be a trick.
SARAH:
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Toi Se. is dead!
SARAH:
What?
SARAH:
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.
WADE claps his hands.
WADE:
So your anything did save the day, after all.
BLAKE steps forward.
BLAKE:
Is it true? Did you kill the odd human?
SARAH:
Blake how long have you been...?
BLAKE puts her arm around SARAH.
BLAKE:
Long enough.
SARAH:
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Toi Se..
BLAKE:
Then the Eldery people are safe?
SARAH:
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable Eldery people enter, looking relived.
BLAKE:
You are their hero.
The Eldery people bow to SARAH.
SARAH:
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Toi Se. will never touch Eldery people ever again, is enough for me.
BLAKE:
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the Eldery people passes SARAH a red severed foot
BLAKE:
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
SARAH:
I couldn't possibly.
Pause.
SARAH:
Well, if you insist.
SARAH:
Thank you.
The Eldery people bow their heads once more, and leave.
SARAH turns to BLAKE.
SARAH:
Does this mean you want me back?
BLAKE:
Oh, Sarah, of course I want you back!
SARAH smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
SARAH:
Well you can't have me.
BLAKE:
WHAT?
SARAH:
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a human to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
BLAKE:
But...
SARAH:
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Wade.
WADE grins.
BLAKE:
But...
WADE:
You heard the lady. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
BLAKE:
Sarah?
SARAH:
I'm sorry Blake, but I think you should skidaddle.
BLAKE leaves.
WADE turns to SARAH.
WADE:
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
SARAH:
Of course you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly WADE stops.
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"Odd Human (a script created by a random script generator)" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 11 Oct. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/odd_human_(a_script_created_by_a_random_script_generator)_24349>.
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