Notias

To my friend Thanos Ari Onassis.

Well... Let's see.

When the first symptoms appeared

both in body and mind,

my mother took me

to the best pediatrician of Athens.

Again.

He used to know Greek mythology

inside out.

But now he gets confused

and mixes things up.

- When did it happen?

- A few days ago, all of a sudden.

While he was listening at the radio,

his breath started to get heavier.

He said something weird.

He asked whether the Trojan Horse

was a mare or a stallion.

Did he use this word?

What did he want to know?

He mixes mythology

with the news, Doctor.

He asked me how the Greek Allies

got out from the Trojan Horse.

Whether it had an emergency exit,

a latch or a lock.

And he fell into depression.

What made you sad, Stavros?

Now, listen.

I'll ask you to tell us a story, so that

we see whether you know it or not, ok?

Stavros! Hey, Stavros!

The Professor

is talking to you, my son!

Tell us how we won

the Trojan War.

We lost the Trojan War.

- Who told you that?

- No one. I thought it by myself.

And Hercules didn't perform

any labor.

The snakes ate him up

in his cradle, when he was a baby.

You see, Doctor? With this nonsense,

his friends don't play with him anymore.

He gives them nicknames

of villains and they get angry.

Such as?

Cyclops Polyphemus, Procrustes...

- Pine-bender!

- You see?

When Theodore

had the same symptoms...

his family put the blame on me.

Hello, Mrs. Tzevoula.

How are you, Theodore?

Your son is making fun

of my nephew.

He has really upset us!

- He told me a wild story.

- What story?

He said that the Minotaur

grabbed Theseus

and pulled his hair out one by one

and then ate him.

- Is that what he said?

- The Minotaur devoured Theseus!

With all this nonsense, the kid

gets upset and has bad dreams.

And in the morning, there is hair

all over the sheets!

- Can I say the other one too?

- Say it.

He told me that Ulysses

didn't go back to his wife and son.

He became a pirate, sailing

in rough seas along with the Cyclops.

He gets up at night,

all nauseous.

Ulysses along with the Cyclops

in the rough seas!

Stavros, when did you

make up all this stuff?

I started playing with the myths

when my first childhood

erections popped up.

I'd get fascinated by the most

celebrated females of that time.

I'd meet them secretly

in the movies.

Greek Newsreel.

That's where I met

my first great love.

Her Majesty the Queen

Anne - Marie of Greece

visited the town of Thessaloniki

for the National Day celebration

where she laid a foundation stone

for the construction of a house...

As soon as I saw her,

that tantalizing, yet sweet force

arose between my legs

turning things upside down.

We became inseparable ever since.

The News on the radio would talk

about her all the time,

taking on mythical proportions

in my mind.

When playing tag, I was helping

the Allies to chase Prince Paris.

When playing hide - and-seek,

I'd live the adventures of Ulysses.

I was challenging

the mistresses of gods...

while the South Wind was

pushing us into the Queen's cove,

where she was waiting for us,

wet and dampened by the hot breeze.

Until the day

the bad news broke.

After the fruitless counter-coup

against the Revolutionary Government,

and after wandering

from village to village,

the Royal Couple ended up in Rome

seeking political asylum.

When I heard that the Greek Army

instead of bringing back Helen of Troy

banned the Queen from Greece,

I killed all the mythical heroes,

known to everyone around me.

You can put on your clothes, Stavros.

What has come upon us, Professor?

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)