Nothing Like The Holidays Page #3

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b*tch Alexis is out.

He killed my brother, man.

That punk-ass, he kills his brother

and he's hanging out

like nothing happened?

What kind of justice is that, Jesse?

- Jesse:
Come on.

- Come on, man.

"Come on" what, bro?

It's not even worth it.

- What are you trying to say?

- Johnny:
Not even worth it.

Got your name up on a billboard, Jesse,

like when Jordan came

back to the United Center.

Whole neighborhood gonna be

lining up, welcoming you back.

A Boricua war hero, pal.

Puerto Rico, whoa!

Puerto Rico, whoa!

Ay, Dios mio. Ay, bendito.

My baby. Mi nio.

Mi vida.

- Preciosos, you're home.

I can't believe it. - Hey, Ma.

What is it going to take

for you two to be on time?

- The hair. The hair.

- Anna:
Your hair.

- Come on.

- Are you okay?

Huh? I'm good. I'm good.

Thank God you never have to

go back to that place again.

I swear if I ever meet those

people that hurt you, baby,

- I'll kill them.

- Hey, Uncle Edy. How you doing?

Oh, you're smothering him.

Give the boy a chance to breathe.

Mauricio:
You look like

a Puerto Rican Gorbachev.

Hi.

- What's up, Roxanna?

- Hey.

- Yo, Mauricio.

- It's so good to see you.

You too. You look good.

Jesse:
The Penn game. Dad,

we're missing the Penn game.

Johnny:
Gracia, Mamita.

Hey, Ma, did Sarah tell you?

She was a big hit at her

office Christmas party.

- She made coquito from scratch.

- Anna:
You did?

- Can you believe that?

- I Googled the recipe.

Why didn't you call me

instead of this Google?

- It's a search engine.

- Ma.

I needed it quickly.

I thought it would be fun.

There's some Puerto Ricans

who work in the firm.

As what? Janitors? An

assistant lavaplatos?

- Ozzy:
Probably.

- Sarah:
Jose is an associate.

- An associate.

- How nice.

And I told them how we

celebrate the parranda,

where we sing the Christmas carols

and go house to house to

surprise the neighbors.

Wow, Mo, I didn't know your girl

was so down with the neighborhood.

I know. Sarah's a volunteer.

What do you have to

offer the world, Johnny?

What's your contribution besides

zero money down and debt into afterlife?

Oh!

I got him good with that afterlife jab.

Okay, enough enough. I

want to propose a toast.

Here's to having everybody home,

especially Jesse.

- All:
Salut.

- Roxanna:
To Jesse.

Jesse. L'Chaim.

Ozzy:
What? What he say?

Jesse, I want to ask you:

Did you see some of that messed up

"Black Hawk Down" type

of sh*t over there?

Did that really happen that way?

I don't know, man. I...

Edy:
He doesn't want to talk about that.

- You don't wanna talk about that.

- It's okay.

You talk when you're ready.

I'm gonna go check the rice.

So, Tio Edy, when are you

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